I’d like to have the whole day to go out by myself and not have to worry about getting back by a certain time. It’s too bad Mother’s Day is on a Sunday because things close earlier, which imposes its own time constraints. But my free time is usually so circumscribed, it’s annoying.
I don't do Mother's Day -- my family didn't when I was growing up and I've never seen a reason to start -- but yet it's still always complicated. My mother-in-law lives a mile away and she *would* like to do Mother's Day, so I'm like, great, your son should absolutely take you out for a nice meal. But she wants me to participate, like I'm somehow sacrificing myself by not going. And 1) if he takes the kid, I get time alone which is a great gift, and 2) if he doesn't take the kid, I'm still not stuck at a long meal with my young child and MIL. (My kid is great in restaurants, actually, because we are completely shameless about giving him a phone to watch YouTube on until the food arrives and after he is done eating, but he's still one more thing to think about -- does this special-occasion restaurant have something he wants to eat? Is he about to get hangry? Etc.) So I'd be happy to have a totally normal day, but if someone is going to do something for me, it should be to take my kid and MIL out without me, but my MIL gets worked up about how this is somehow not fair to me, and it's a whole thing.
I feel like this holiday is generally dumb, but also, if any parent is centered, it should be the parent who is actively caring for a dependent child. I'm annoyed at your MIL and her inability to recognize that she could figure out how to coordinate something that would be a gift for you both. It doesn't have to be an either/or situation!
I want a day where no one talks to me or touches me. For the first time I’ve booked myself a night in a hotel 45 mins away from home on Mother’s Day. They have soaking pools and I’m so excited to just go and enjoy some quiet time.
I want to sleep in, have someone else make breakfast and then get 2 hours to read my own book. I don’t care if there are children climbing on me, I just want to be able to tell them someone else will help while I absorb some needed fiction.
I want to be dropped off at a nearby spa that has this day long treatment that involves being scrubbed, wrapped, oiled, and massaged. I would add on a shampoo, haircut, manicure and pedicure. And a delicious lunch with a large icy herbal mocktail type drink. Then driven home. My partner would take exquisite care of all the things my toddler needs as I spend the rest of the day lounging around our home with an invisibilty cloak around me so I can do as I please without being seen.
Sleeping in would be nice. So would not making household decisions or cooking meals. I love time to myself but it’s less about time alone and more about the freedom to only think about my own worries and needs rather than that of my whole household.
I want the holiday to disappear. But, if I must choose something, I want a massive and robust gun buyback program. People get paid, guns get melted, children get safer.
Yes, please. I don't want to have to try to meet my mom's expectation for the day. Or hear about how my brothers didn't do anything, even I personally meet her expectations. I don't want anyone asking what I want.
Mother's Day is weird for me because it's two weeks after my birthday (and Father's Day is two weeks after my husband's birthday) so I always feel like, oh I've had ENOUGH FUSS. (This year, I especially feel that way!!) I also hate the emptiness of a holiday celebrating us with brunch and bubble baths in lieu of paid family leave and all the other social supports. And I want time for us to sit in coffee shops and write novels (or in my case, putter endlessly in the garden) to be built into our family life EVERY weekend, not just on a random holiday. And yet -- it often feels pretty flat when my family LISTENS to me saying "oh let's skip it" and actually skips it or doesn't do much more than a card. In conclusion, MEH.
I feel this! My birthday falls on Mother’s Day weekend, which is also usually graduation weekend. I’m like... can we just wait until Memorial Day and do it all at once? With a BBQ in my backyard that I don’t have to plan, cook or clean up for?
This is me too. My birthday is always within a week of Mother’s Day. (As is my own mother’s, oddly.) And I can never think of two days’ worth of anything.
For the entire Mother's Day weekend, I do not think about anyone else's food.
I do not plan the menus.
I do not buy the groceries.
I do not provide the snacks.
I do not decide on the desserts.
I most certainly do not cook.
I do not choose the restaurant. If I am taken to a restaurant, I will happily select only my own food from the menu.
My husband and I generally have a healthy balance of mental load and household tasks, but in this phase of our life with young children this is one area that we both find draining and it ended up on my list during our most recent re-division of responsibilities. Getting to completely offload it for 48 hours is a wonderful mental break and a reminder to my family of how much work is involved in this area day-to-day.
I really don’t care about Mother’s Day for myself, but I feel obligated to do something for my mom. This year, she may be out of town so a text or call should work.
I want a night in a hotel. A bed all to myself, a shower in peace and room service. And no answering any questions. Specially of the "Where is my..." kind.
And I want all the guns in America gone so I can actually sleep in peace.
All I want is the whole day to myself. To not have to feed children, set up a full meal for others, host guests, and clean up after others.
I want to sleep late, prepare no food, and respond to every question, "I dunno. Go ask your dad."
I’d like to have the whole day to go out by myself and not have to worry about getting back by a certain time. It’s too bad Mother’s Day is on a Sunday because things close earlier, which imposes its own time constraints. But my free time is usually so circumscribed, it’s annoying.
I don't do Mother's Day -- my family didn't when I was growing up and I've never seen a reason to start -- but yet it's still always complicated. My mother-in-law lives a mile away and she *would* like to do Mother's Day, so I'm like, great, your son should absolutely take you out for a nice meal. But she wants me to participate, like I'm somehow sacrificing myself by not going. And 1) if he takes the kid, I get time alone which is a great gift, and 2) if he doesn't take the kid, I'm still not stuck at a long meal with my young child and MIL. (My kid is great in restaurants, actually, because we are completely shameless about giving him a phone to watch YouTube on until the food arrives and after he is done eating, but he's still one more thing to think about -- does this special-occasion restaurant have something he wants to eat? Is he about to get hangry? Etc.) So I'd be happy to have a totally normal day, but if someone is going to do something for me, it should be to take my kid and MIL out without me, but my MIL gets worked up about how this is somehow not fair to me, and it's a whole thing.
Ugh. That stinks.
I feel like this holiday is generally dumb, but also, if any parent is centered, it should be the parent who is actively caring for a dependent child. I'm annoyed at your MIL and her inability to recognize that she could figure out how to coordinate something that would be a gift for you both. It doesn't have to be an either/or situation!
Ugh yes. You are definitely not alone in this ridiculousness. Why, MILs, WHY??
I want a massage and to not have to make any decisions. We are good at collaborating I just want a pass on that for a day.
Yessss, this exactly 🙏🏼
Just aiming to improve on last year when the entire family had COVID…and to drink a cup of tea in peace.
Same, last year was my first Mother’s Day and my husband was sick so I took his debit card and wore our baby for a lunch on him. It felt awful.
I want a day where no one talks to me or touches me. For the first time I’ve booked myself a night in a hotel 45 mins away from home on Mother’s Day. They have soaking pools and I’m so excited to just go and enjoy some quiet time.
I want to sleep in, have someone else make breakfast and then get 2 hours to read my own book. I don’t care if there are children climbing on me, I just want to be able to tell them someone else will help while I absorb some needed fiction.
I want to be dropped off at a nearby spa that has this day long treatment that involves being scrubbed, wrapped, oiled, and massaged. I would add on a shampoo, haircut, manicure and pedicure. And a delicious lunch with a large icy herbal mocktail type drink. Then driven home. My partner would take exquisite care of all the things my toddler needs as I spend the rest of the day lounging around our home with an invisibilty cloak around me so I can do as I please without being seen.
The invisibility cloak is genius!
Sleeping in would be nice. So would not making household decisions or cooking meals. I love time to myself but it’s less about time alone and more about the freedom to only think about my own worries and needs rather than that of my whole household.
I want the holiday to disappear. But, if I must choose something, I want a massive and robust gun buyback program. People get paid, guns get melted, children get safer.
Yes, please. I don't want to have to try to meet my mom's expectation for the day. Or hear about how my brothers didn't do anything, even I personally meet her expectations. I don't want anyone asking what I want.
Mother's Day is weird for me because it's two weeks after my birthday (and Father's Day is two weeks after my husband's birthday) so I always feel like, oh I've had ENOUGH FUSS. (This year, I especially feel that way!!) I also hate the emptiness of a holiday celebrating us with brunch and bubble baths in lieu of paid family leave and all the other social supports. And I want time for us to sit in coffee shops and write novels (or in my case, putter endlessly in the garden) to be built into our family life EVERY weekend, not just on a random holiday. And yet -- it often feels pretty flat when my family LISTENS to me saying "oh let's skip it" and actually skips it or doesn't do much more than a card. In conclusion, MEH.
My birthday is March 31st, and my husband's birthday is May 12th, so we have a similar scenario of Celebration Overload.
It's so real!
I feel this! My birthday falls on Mother’s Day weekend, which is also usually graduation weekend. I’m like... can we just wait until Memorial Day and do it all at once? With a BBQ in my backyard that I don’t have to plan, cook or clean up for?
Also, happy New Book Mom week ❤️
This is me too. My birthday is always within a week of Mother’s Day. (As is my own mother’s, oddly.) And I can never think of two days’ worth of anything.
For the entire Mother's Day weekend, I do not think about anyone else's food.
I do not plan the menus.
I do not buy the groceries.
I do not provide the snacks.
I do not decide on the desserts.
I most certainly do not cook.
I do not choose the restaurant. If I am taken to a restaurant, I will happily select only my own food from the menu.
My husband and I generally have a healthy balance of mental load and household tasks, but in this phase of our life with young children this is one area that we both find draining and it ended up on my list during our most recent re-division of responsibilities. Getting to completely offload it for 48 hours is a wonderful mental break and a reminder to my family of how much work is involved in this area day-to-day.
I really don’t care about Mother’s Day for myself, but I feel obligated to do something for my mom. This year, she may be out of town so a text or call should work.
I would like to not feel obligated to call my own mother (or guilty about not doing so).
THIS. My mother will start a war if I forget to send her a card.
I want a night in a hotel. A bed all to myself, a shower in peace and room service. And no answering any questions. Specially of the "Where is my..." kind.
And I want all the guns in America gone so I can actually sleep in peace.