Hi everyone! Our third Parent Scream is starting RIGHT NOW. Join us to vent, cry, yell, scream… whatever you need. IMO, the world basically is falling apart, and I think we all need to connect with others, commiserate and let off some steam.
Free subscribers: If you’re having trouble commenting, fully log out of Substack (by clicking the upper right profile icon and then 'sign out') and then log back in, making sure you’re using the email address you used to subscribe.
Here are my thread ground rules:
Be courteous and treat everyone with respect. We are all doing the best we can during a very fraught, stressful, scary time, and some of us have more constraints on our lives than others. Please don’t judge others for their choices or tell other parents they’re doing things wrong.
No hate speech or bullying. Bullying of any kind isn't allowed, and degrading comments about things like race, religion, culture, sexual orientation, gender or identity will not be tolerated. Also, comments solely intended to provoke will be deleted.
Respect everyone's privacy. What is shared in the thread stays in the thread.
No promotions or spam.
I reserve the right to delete comments that break these ground rules and/or ban people who make repeat offenses. And ban I will, believe me.
Yesss!!! We got our 11-month-old the moderna and are already thinking about (GASP!) taking the train to visit family in the fall?? It's breaking my brain in kind of a good way that it's even an option.
There were some quiet, tearful mom-to-mom moments in the vaccination center for sure.
I’m planning to buy one of those human shaped punching bag for these occasions to let loose! So irritated by the actions of folks outside our little household.
It makes me so sad for my kids. We had a whole reasonably safe mostly outdoor 4th of July weekend thing planned with family who we haven't seen in person in a year. And then came to find out my SIL is unvaccinated AND WASN'T GOING TO TELL US. We've been talking this weekend up with the kids for weeks.
Ugh. We had someone show up to Thanksgiving 2020 when I had an INFANT knowing she had a pending test. She ended up testing positive and so we had to scramble to wait on long lines to test and hope we didn’t infect the baby. In the cold. To say I was livid is an understatement - glad you found out before!
My kids are already acting bored after two weeks of summer activities, a bunch of old ass white men rule the society I live in (not limited to but including the goddamn president! Jesus take the wheel he’s acting like such a sweet grandpa! Not what we need!), the planet is still going to be overheating despite anyone’s politics about it...oh yeah, and the pandemic is still a thing SCREAM.
But like, a lot of people I personally know are all acting like we’re back to business as usual doodley dooo and I think that’s making me the most crazy!! I preferred the 2020 “wow we are all aware and talking about what a sh*t show this is” time tbh
Yes! I get that it’s probably a self preservation/survival strategy to not think about it and pretend like we can go back to old times...but I obviously prefer the SCREAM strategy lol
Oh crap worked great for one of my kids, and not as well for the other, but maybe we were rushing him. My best advice is to have a sense of humor about it and try to remember that they’ll get it eventually, even if it’s not on your timeline.
So I'm doing it with a just-barely 2 year old who I think is going to pick it up super fast .... And my almost 4 year old who knows exactly what to do, but has completely refused to do it. Wish us luck lol
We did it with my oldest at 17 months and it was easy peasy. Had two failed attempts with the younger kid at like two and two and a half and then finally successful just before he turned three. Whether he just wasn’t ready before or he needed to see we really weren’t buying any more diapers, or the promise of picking out a toy car when he had it down did it, we’ll never know.
We did Oh Crap but also with tiny treats, which I can’t recall if they say you should or not - but I highly recommend having tiny treats on hand like mini marshmallows if your kids are motivated by that (my boys were!) and extra praise helps too! Keep on a timer the rest of the week for potty checks and keep extra undies everywhere lol
Day 1 sucks. Day 1 sucks so hard. You will stare at so much naked toddler. We used this method and it worked-ish. We both made this our only thing and followed kiddo around with the potty all day. Just stated excitedly, "You're peeing!" and plopped her on it any time she started. By day
2 she realized she needed to go somewhere to do her business but we still followed her around. Close off any spaces you don't want urine on just to save yourself. On day two, we started putting puppy pee pads in the areas she had accidents - like her play tent. Saved us so much clean up the next few days. 3 days is a lie, but our kiddo picked it up quickly. Just keep breathing and plan something for yourself for after bedtime - we went with ordering pizza, drinking beer, and a movie.
Didn't work for us. My daughter was 4 before she was fully potty trained. Weirdly, staying at home with her during the early days of the pandemic did the trick.
My city desperately needs rain but also the fires we’ve had this year and a couple years ago mean that any time it rains more than a little, half the town is on a flash flood warning. Very cool to be getting emergency alerts all the time as well as all the other terrible news!
Not only is everything in the whole world a garbage fire, but I have 10 of my in-laws coming to visit at the same time in July, for THREE WEEKS, and they are flying in and there will be loud cousins and it is sparking my COVID/baby sleep/introvert anxieties all at the same time. I may run off into the woods!
Oh my word, that is a lot of people for a long time! I'd be heading for the woods too. Can you try to plan in advance some times each day when you can escape by yourself?
That is a sound plan! If I had any mental fortitude left I would certainly try to think this through ahead of time, but as is it seems like "needing to lie down" and scheduling myself lots of haircuts will probably need to suffice in the moment. Perhaps some long walks with the baby and screaming into pillows?
What is everyone doing for their mental health right now? I am taking lots of walks, exercising when I can, and reading some books on successful social movements so as to remind myself that positive change DOES happen, it's just often really slow. Would love to hear what other people are doing to survive this mess.
It seems from what I'm reading that the social aspect is SO important. You have to have other people holding you accountable, setting social norms that you feel you have to follow, etc. Not to mention being there to support you and fuel you when it feels too hard.
Well, I'm really interested in understanding WHAT makes them successful, so this might not be your cup of tea, but the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg has a section on this that is fascinating, and also I've just started "How Change Happens: Why Some Social Movements Succeed While Other's Don't" by Leslie Crutchfield. Actually trying to interview Crutchfield for this newsletter...
I’ve struggled with this as a new mom, with a new job (mo money but mo problems) and trying to move to a new house in about a month. Things that keep me sane: Magnolia banana pudding, a daily Wordle practice, painting my nails a bright fun color.
I have 8 daily web-based games that I try to finish *before* getting on social media in the morning. Exercise. The podcast Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff.
On the bad days, I let my husband know that, after toddler bedtime, all I want is to sit on the couch, binge watch a show, and read stuff online. I do that most nights, but the nights I tell him I need it are the ones he knows not to talk to me at all.
I’m writing again! It’s been years. Knitting lots. Gardening, and after a full year of work we finally got to the stage where Things Are In Bloom. It does something to my soul.
I’m trying to deliberately practice gratitude, and to introduce the practice to the kids.
Also I grab my husband’s shirt and growl “REGULATE ME” and he just gazes warmly into my eyes til I’m not at risk of violence any more. Recently my husband took my eldest camping, and as they drove away she said to him, “Mama’s gonna lose her temper and you won’t be there to calm her down.”
This is…probably not the unhealthiest example of a marriage? We are healing generations of abuse and abandonment, it’s probably okay to reveal that it’s hard and takes teamwork.
Daddy with a wonderful 3 year old here - we were able to perfectly potty train her about 9 months ago but all of a sudden she’s now having accidents constantly. Doc said it’s not UTI… we’re really concerned and totally dismayed - feel really bad for her since she obviously doesn’t understand either!
Oh no, I'm so sorry. Could it be regression? Is she going through a transition right now (new camp, end of preschool, etc?) Also, just throwing this out there, but a good friend's daughter had this issue a few years ago and it turned out constipation was the cause! I guess sometimes all the compacted poop in the rectum can push against the bladder and cause accidents. (Sorry if that's TMI.)
I'm a geriatrics-nurse-practitioner-turned-SAHM and the compacted poop thing is real... It happens frequently in the elderly, too. Soooo we all have that to look forward to!!!! Lol
No such thing as TMI in this business 😂. We’re pretty sure it’s not constipation but totally makes sense that it’s a common cause! She used to have that problem when she was a baby but been very regular these days. She’s had an explosion of behavioral changes last few weeks - lots of speaking, emotions. We’re thinking it’s regression too. Any tips on how to deal with that you’ve heard?! We’re also really hoping it’s not T1DM…
My friend's daughter was fairly regular too -- I guess it can be hard to tell if it's constipation without getting ultrasounds. It's probably not the cause, but it's something to keep in mind if it doesn't resolve! But yes, behavioral changes — and rapid progression in one area, like speech — can be accompanied by regression in other areas. Let me find the link to the piece I've written about this...
I texted my friend and she added that pelvic floor dysfunction is another common cause of accidents (but she said constipation, according to her urologist, is the most common cause? I had no idea.) Anyway, if it's regression it should ease soon... if not, you could check out these other possibilities! Best of luck!
I’m so sorry, that’s brutal. We went through something similar with my oldest and it turned out to be food allergies, of all things. A food diary helped us figure out she was allergic to basically all dairy and seeds and seed oils—her symptoms were one cheek would turn red, she’d throw a tantrum, and she’d pee on the floor looking perplexed. She outgrew it, but in the interim, changing her diet fixed everything.
Oh Annie! That's so scary. I hope it goes well. I'll be thinking of you. Will the doctors be wearing masks at least?? (Also, I think I have you to thank for suggesting that we have another scream? If I'm right: THANK YOU!)
Fortunately the hospital is great! But nobody else in the world seems to be wearing masks. Thankfully he has had his first dose of Moderna but we were so worried he would catch it this week and his surgery would be canceled. Makes me scream that I wore an N95 all week, told people near me my baby was having surgery, and essentially nobody was masked.
That’s so frustrating. Not the same thing but we are traveling to attend a friend’s wedding and see family. I’ve had to cancel multiple trips due to delta / omicron risk so you better believe I’m wearing my mask everywhere and I don’t care what ppl think. My son’s daycare stopped requiring it but I put mine on always
I just had another miscarriage (my fifth, three before I had my daughter and two after), which means I need to start IVF again, I guess while it's still legal? And to add insult to injury, I had to cancel a trip to South Africa for a conference because of the treatment, so instead of going on a free trip with a safari, I am going to single parent for two weeks while going through treatment while my husband goes without me.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I wish I could lighten your burden in any way.
You probably know about reddit’s r/ttcafterloss, but I’m mentioning it just in case. It was a balm to my soul to be surrounded by women who understood.
Husband has Covid after he was away. And we have an intense family weekend coming up. All this I have to continue to do on my own!. Plus I’m having neck and back spasms for like 3 weeks. Plus the kid has been so very difficult lately. Fighting me on literally everything.
Everything sucks and my toddler is in a whine for everything phase which is my kryptonite. I just want to run away to a spa and ignore everything for a month.
Today is our 10th wedding anniversary. We’re both working parents with a 2.5 year old and 6 month old, so basically zero time to ourselves. We had very nice dinner reservations out that I was SO excited for, but our babysitter forgot and we couldn’t find a backup. I shed a few “why us” tears, rallied out of my great outfit/jewelry into nice pajamas, and we ordered some good food to be delivered. Only one of the meals arrived and the restaurant forgot the other. Happy effing anniversary 😭. SCREAM!!!
Reading some of the other posts really puts things in perspective though, so cheers to all of you moms and dads out there grinding through. Here’s to better days 🙌
Ugh I’ve had low level anxiety just constantly hanging out with me with no specific cause except for EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE ITS FALLING APART. I’m navigating big transitions with my 4yo and investigating sensory challenges and it feels like whenever I’m not my very best parenting self, he falls apart, and I cannot be my very best parenting self with almost zero breaks! I have a moms retreat planned next week (my first trip away) that I’m so excited for but terrified of it getting cancelled due to COVID. We’re at my parents cabin now for the holiday weekend where everyone is vaxxed and tested negative, but then my mom just invited up 4 extended family members! I want to run away in fear of exposure, but I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t seen my 92yo grandpa in a year. AAAAHHHHH WHY IS IT ALL SO HARD
We finally got covid—the kids are 5, 3, and 11 weeks. The primary symptom is SHEER CRANKINESS, and at first I thought at least that wouldn’t send any of us to the hospital…and then one kid slammed her sister’s thumb in the door jamb.
They are highly energetic but the worst possible version of themselves. Please give me advice for activities to keep them occupied and soothing things for myself that aren’t ice cream. Whiskey won’t crash my immune system, right??
Just when I thought there couldn’t be anything else to scream about, SCOTUS challenged that. I’m so angry and disappointed in so many people. I’m angry about my body not functioning the way it should and being so sick. I’m heartbroken that my kid is immensely struggling and people see his behavioral challenges as “manipulation.” I’m exhausted in every sense of the word.
But I love seeing the butterflies and bees in abundance this year. I love my friends more than life. I’m thankful for financial security, vegan ice cream, my trusty old minivan, dogs, good schools for my kids, iced decaf coffee, pride and pro-choice matches, guided meditations, sleep stories, and warm weather. If I don’t focus on these things (and more!), I’d be lying in a puddle of tears and despair.
If you’re reading this: You are doing a good job, friend.
Omg I hope hope hope they open on time!!! Also hope you are feeling okay!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH $#($*%)(*&$&. Just starting us off. Hello everybody!
I feel like screaming at least one happy thing. Finally was able to get my son vaccinated (he is almost 2).
Oh yay!!!! Thank you for sharing a happy thing!!!! That's fantastic!!
I got my 2 and 3 year olds vaccinated! 9/24 is marked on my calendar as "Freeeeeeedoommmmm" (it's 2 weeks after their 3rd dose). Congrats to you!!!!
And congrats back at ya. My son got the moderna so my “freedom” day is so close I can taste it!
Yesss!!! We got our 11-month-old the moderna and are already thinking about (GASP!) taking the train to visit family in the fall?? It's breaking my brain in kind of a good way that it's even an option.
There were some quiet, tearful mom-to-mom moments in the vaccination center for sure.
IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yet another quarantine from daycare and no child care for 10 days! UGH.
omggggg. Is your daycare changing its policy once kids are vaccinated? Or no? I heard that it could go either way in some places.
They’ve said they will change it when kids are fully vaxxed. Just had to get one more quarantine in before the change. Ugh!
The worst! We had one of those right after Memorial Day
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh teenagers!
YET ANOTHER holiday weekend plan has fallen apart thanks to extended family COVID drama. I'm so fucking sick of it. AGHHHHHHHH
oh god I'm so sorry.
I’m planning to buy one of those human shaped punching bag for these occasions to let loose! So irritated by the actions of folks outside our little household.
Good idea. We might have to put my SIL's face on ours!
It makes me so sad for my kids. We had a whole reasonably safe mostly outdoor 4th of July weekend thing planned with family who we haven't seen in person in a year. And then came to find out my SIL is unvaccinated AND WASN'T GOING TO TELL US. We've been talking this weekend up with the kids for weeks.
OMG!!!!!! That's awful!!! I'm so sorry.
Ugh. We had someone show up to Thanksgiving 2020 when I had an INFANT knowing she had a pending test. She ended up testing positive and so we had to scramble to wait on long lines to test and hope we didn’t infect the baby. In the cold. To say I was livid is an understatement - glad you found out before!
AITA would declare that family member TA. I hate people sometimes.
UGH. That’s terrible!
My kids are already acting bored after two weeks of summer activities, a bunch of old ass white men rule the society I live in (not limited to but including the goddamn president! Jesus take the wheel he’s acting like such a sweet grandpa! Not what we need!), the planet is still going to be overheating despite anyone’s politics about it...oh yeah, and the pandemic is still a thing SCREAM.
I mean there's so much terrible shit happening at once, it's surreal.
But like, a lot of people I personally know are all acting like we’re back to business as usual doodley dooo and I think that’s making me the most crazy!! I preferred the 2020 “wow we are all aware and talking about what a sh*t show this is” time tbh
That's a really good point - the indifference and apathy are infuriating. Like HOW DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW BAD THIS IS.
Yes! I get that it’s probably a self preservation/survival strategy to not think about it and pretend like we can go back to old times...but I obviously prefer the SCREAM strategy lol
I am potty training 2 toddlers doing the Oh Crap thing (nothing else we've tried has worked) starting on Monday. Any words of wisdom or advice?
Oh crap worked great for one of my kids, and not as well for the other, but maybe we were rushing him. My best advice is to have a sense of humor about it and try to remember that they’ll get it eventually, even if it’s not on your timeline.
So I'm doing it with a just-barely 2 year old who I think is going to pick it up super fast .... And my almost 4 year old who knows exactly what to do, but has completely refused to do it. Wish us luck lol
We did it with my oldest at 17 months and it was easy peasy. Had two failed attempts with the younger kid at like two and two and a half and then finally successful just before he turned three. Whether he just wasn’t ready before or he needed to see we really weren’t buying any more diapers, or the promise of picking out a toy car when he had it down did it, we’ll never know.
Oh, I read that book and I think (mostly) used that method with my kids. It worked for us! But I know it doesn't work for all kids. I know Claire Lerner has written about potty training. I haven't read her advice on this, but in general I really like her approaches, so you might find them useful. Here's one of her articles on it: https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/mainblog/2019/1/22/go-with-the-flow-preventing-the-perils-of-potty-training
and then this one: https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/mainblog/go-with-the-flow-part-2-how-to-address-the-typical-challenges-that-arise-in-the-potty-learning-process
Thank you, Melinda!
We did Oh Crap but also with tiny treats, which I can’t recall if they say you should or not - but I highly recommend having tiny treats on hand like mini marshmallows if your kids are motivated by that (my boys were!) and extra praise helps too! Keep on a timer the rest of the week for potty checks and keep extra undies everywhere lol
Be gentle with yourself if it doesn’t work. It failed spectacularly for my kid and we were all miserable for 6 weeks before we finally gave up.
Thank you!
Day 1 sucks. Day 1 sucks so hard. You will stare at so much naked toddler. We used this method and it worked-ish. We both made this our only thing and followed kiddo around with the potty all day. Just stated excitedly, "You're peeing!" and plopped her on it any time she started. By day
2 she realized she needed to go somewhere to do her business but we still followed her around. Close off any spaces you don't want urine on just to save yourself. On day two, we started putting puppy pee pads in the areas she had accidents - like her play tent. Saved us so much clean up the next few days. 3 days is a lie, but our kiddo picked it up quickly. Just keep breathing and plan something for yourself for after bedtime - we went with ordering pizza, drinking beer, and a movie.
Didn't work for us. My daughter was 4 before she was fully potty trained. Weirdly, staying at home with her during the early days of the pandemic did the trick.
My city desperately needs rain but also the fires we’ve had this year and a couple years ago mean that any time it rains more than a little, half the town is on a flash flood warning. Very cool to be getting emergency alerts all the time as well as all the other terrible news!
Oh wow.... I'm sorry you're dealing with that on top of everything else!!
Today I went to a funeral of a three months old baby (SIDS), I cannot say how heartbreaking it was... The nightmare for any parent, right!?!?
Oh that's awful. A friend of mine lost her baby to SIDS years ago. My heart breaks.
I'm very sorry. I cannot imagine the utter heartbreak.
Oh my. Peace and comfort to the families of these sweet babies. Life is unfair, but must it be that unfair? Sending love and light.
Not only is everything in the whole world a garbage fire, but I have 10 of my in-laws coming to visit at the same time in July, for THREE WEEKS, and they are flying in and there will be loud cousins and it is sparking my COVID/baby sleep/introvert anxieties all at the same time. I may run off into the woods!
Oh my word, that is a lot of people for a long time! I'd be heading for the woods too. Can you try to plan in advance some times each day when you can escape by yourself?
That is a sound plan! If I had any mental fortitude left I would certainly try to think this through ahead of time, but as is it seems like "needing to lie down" and scheduling myself lots of haircuts will probably need to suffice in the moment. Perhaps some long walks with the baby and screaming into pillows?
I used nursing as an excuse in those situations. And I’m an extrovert! But there’s only so much of Uncle Bill’s politics I can take.
What is everyone doing for their mental health right now? I am taking lots of walks, exercising when I can, and reading some books on successful social movements so as to remind myself that positive change DOES happen, it's just often really slow. Would love to hear what other people are doing to survive this mess.
ooh, I haven't seen Crip Camp but will watch. Loved Da 5 Bloods!
It seems from what I'm reading that the social aspect is SO important. You have to have other people holding you accountable, setting social norms that you feel you have to follow, etc. Not to mention being there to support you and fuel you when it feels too hard.
Would love to hear those book titles. Feels pretty bleak right now.
Well, I'm really interested in understanding WHAT makes them successful, so this might not be your cup of tea, but the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg has a section on this that is fascinating, and also I've just started "How Change Happens: Why Some Social Movements Succeed While Other's Don't" by Leslie Crutchfield. Actually trying to interview Crutchfield for this newsletter...
Working out and teaching myself to quilt. And gardening!
Exercise, reading and ice cream. I’m trying to be very gentle with myself while I gather information about what to do next.
I’ve struggled with this as a new mom, with a new job (mo money but mo problems) and trying to move to a new house in about a month. Things that keep me sane: Magnolia banana pudding, a daily Wordle practice, painting my nails a bright fun color.
I just googled Magnolia banana pudding, and that looks amazing!
I think they deliver on goldbelly - worth it! I happen to have a location near work and happened to come in one day this week
I have 8 daily web-based games that I try to finish *before* getting on social media in the morning. Exercise. The podcast Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff.
Omg speaking of podcasts, I love Conan O’Brien’s - so funny!
exercise, fresh air, leaving my phone behind occasionally, baking, and eating a lot of sugar.
Eating mini chocolate chips (somehow so much better than regular size) right from the bag and donating to abortion funds
On the bad days, I let my husband know that, after toddler bedtime, all I want is to sit on the couch, binge watch a show, and read stuff online. I do that most nights, but the nights I tell him I need it are the ones he knows not to talk to me at all.
Rewatching the Great British Baking Show for the 100th time. It’s so calming.
I’m writing again! It’s been years. Knitting lots. Gardening, and after a full year of work we finally got to the stage where Things Are In Bloom. It does something to my soul.
I’m trying to deliberately practice gratitude, and to introduce the practice to the kids.
Also I grab my husband’s shirt and growl “REGULATE ME” and he just gazes warmly into my eyes til I’m not at risk of violence any more. Recently my husband took my eldest camping, and as they drove away she said to him, “Mama’s gonna lose her temper and you won’t be there to calm her down.”
This is…probably not the unhealthiest example of a marriage? We are healing generations of abuse and abandonment, it’s probably okay to reveal that it’s hard and takes teamwork.
I'm taking as much time off of work as I can for a mental health break.
Daddy with a wonderful 3 year old here - we were able to perfectly potty train her about 9 months ago but all of a sudden she’s now having accidents constantly. Doc said it’s not UTI… we’re really concerned and totally dismayed - feel really bad for her since she obviously doesn’t understand either!
Oh no, I'm so sorry. Could it be regression? Is she going through a transition right now (new camp, end of preschool, etc?) Also, just throwing this out there, but a good friend's daughter had this issue a few years ago and it turned out constipation was the cause! I guess sometimes all the compacted poop in the rectum can push against the bladder and cause accidents. (Sorry if that's TMI.)
I'm a geriatrics-nurse-practitioner-turned-SAHM and the compacted poop thing is real... It happens frequently in the elderly, too. Soooo we all have that to look forward to!!!! Lol
No such thing as TMI in this business 😂. We’re pretty sure it’s not constipation but totally makes sense that it’s a common cause! She used to have that problem when she was a baby but been very regular these days. She’s had an explosion of behavioral changes last few weeks - lots of speaking, emotions. We’re thinking it’s regression too. Any tips on how to deal with that you’ve heard?! We’re also really hoping it’s not T1DM…
My friend's daughter was fairly regular too -- I guess it can be hard to tell if it's constipation without getting ultrasounds. It's probably not the cause, but it's something to keep in mind if it doesn't resolve! But yes, behavioral changes — and rapid progression in one area, like speech — can be accompanied by regression in other areas. Let me find the link to the piece I've written about this...
I texted my friend and she added that pelvic floor dysfunction is another common cause of accidents (but she said constipation, according to her urologist, is the most common cause? I had no idea.) Anyway, if it's regression it should ease soon... if not, you could check out these other possibilities! Best of luck!
Okay, here's a piece I wrote about regression, if you can access it: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/toddler/behavioral-regression.html
Basically: give her reassurance and extra love and do your best to be patient. :)
Thank you so much - really appreciate it and will definitely read this. We love your stuff!
I’m so sorry, that’s brutal. We went through something similar with my oldest and it turned out to be food allergies, of all things. A food diary helped us figure out she was allergic to basically all dairy and seeds and seed oils—her symptoms were one cheek would turn red, she’d throw a tantrum, and she’d pee on the floor looking perplexed. She outgrew it, but in the interim, changing her diet fixed everything.
My son got COVID 5 days before his vaxx appointment!!! AAAAAAGGGGHHHH. We waited so long and sacrificed so much just to crap out at the finish line!
Amazing that you were able to do that. We tried separating but it was useless.
oh noooooooooooo I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Ugh, hope he’s doing well at least?
A cough and low fever. Doing way better than the adults!
Literally same. Took our one trip of the year to see family and friends…infected the whole house and toddler got Covid 5 days before vaxx. Defeated.
Defeated is totally the word. We all got it too. Sucked. Hope you’re all feeling better now.
Nooooooooo
NOOOOOOO!
So sorry. That sucks.
I am so sorry.
My baby (almost 2 now) is having surgery tomorrow and nobody is wearing masks anymore!!
Oh Annie! That's so scary. I hope it goes well. I'll be thinking of you. Will the doctors be wearing masks at least?? (Also, I think I have you to thank for suggesting that we have another scream? If I'm right: THANK YOU!)
I do believe that was me :)
Fortunately the hospital is great! But nobody else in the world seems to be wearing masks. Thankfully he has had his first dose of Moderna but we were so worried he would catch it this week and his surgery would be canceled. Makes me scream that I wore an N95 all week, told people near me my baby was having surgery, and essentially nobody was masked.
That’s so frustrating. Not the same thing but we are traveling to attend a friend’s wedding and see family. I’ve had to cancel multiple trips due to delta / omicron risk so you better believe I’m wearing my mask everywhere and I don’t care what ppl think. My son’s daycare stopped requiring it but I put mine on always
Wishing you and your wee one all the best with surgery and recovery.
I just had another miscarriage (my fifth, three before I had my daughter and two after), which means I need to start IVF again, I guess while it's still legal? And to add insult to injury, I had to cancel a trip to South Africa for a conference because of the treatment, so instead of going on a free trip with a safari, I am going to single parent for two weeks while going through treatment while my husband goes without me.
Oh wow this sounds so so so hard. I'm really sorry, Rachel.
Oh gosh that is a LOT :(
There are no words for how much that hurts. I'm sending you all the hugs.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I wish I could lighten your burden in any way.
You probably know about reddit’s r/ttcafterloss, but I’m mentioning it just in case. It was a balm to my soul to be surrounded by women who understood.
Wishing you every good thing.
I’m just so so sorry
Husband has Covid after he was away. And we have an intense family weekend coming up. All this I have to continue to do on my own!. Plus I’m having neck and back spasms for like 3 weeks. Plus the kid has been so very difficult lately. Fighting me on literally everything.
That is a whole lot to be dealing with at once. Sending hugs! And hopefully a REAL hug on Monday :)
Everything sucks and my toddler is in a whine for everything phase which is my kryptonite. I just want to run away to a spa and ignore everything for a month.
Today is our 10th wedding anniversary. We’re both working parents with a 2.5 year old and 6 month old, so basically zero time to ourselves. We had very nice dinner reservations out that I was SO excited for, but our babysitter forgot and we couldn’t find a backup. I shed a few “why us” tears, rallied out of my great outfit/jewelry into nice pajamas, and we ordered some good food to be delivered. Only one of the meals arrived and the restaurant forgot the other. Happy effing anniversary 😭. SCREAM!!!
OMG how does all that happen at once! Wtf! I'm sorry!
Reading some of the other posts really puts things in perspective though, so cheers to all of you moms and dads out there grinding through. Here’s to better days 🙌
Ugh I’ve had low level anxiety just constantly hanging out with me with no specific cause except for EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE ITS FALLING APART. I’m navigating big transitions with my 4yo and investigating sensory challenges and it feels like whenever I’m not my very best parenting self, he falls apart, and I cannot be my very best parenting self with almost zero breaks! I have a moms retreat planned next week (my first trip away) that I’m so excited for but terrified of it getting cancelled due to COVID. We’re at my parents cabin now for the holiday weekend where everyone is vaxxed and tested negative, but then my mom just invited up 4 extended family members! I want to run away in fear of exposure, but I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t seen my 92yo grandpa in a year. AAAAHHHHH WHY IS IT ALL SO HARD
We finally got covid—the kids are 5, 3, and 11 weeks. The primary symptom is SHEER CRANKINESS, and at first I thought at least that wouldn’t send any of us to the hospital…and then one kid slammed her sister’s thumb in the door jamb.
They are highly energetic but the worst possible version of themselves. Please give me advice for activities to keep them occupied and soothing things for myself that aren’t ice cream. Whiskey won’t crash my immune system, right??
sick + not tired is the worst combination in kids
Just when I thought there couldn’t be anything else to scream about, SCOTUS challenged that. I’m so angry and disappointed in so many people. I’m angry about my body not functioning the way it should and being so sick. I’m heartbroken that my kid is immensely struggling and people see his behavioral challenges as “manipulation.” I’m exhausted in every sense of the word.
But I love seeing the butterflies and bees in abundance this year. I love my friends more than life. I’m thankful for financial security, vegan ice cream, my trusty old minivan, dogs, good schools for my kids, iced decaf coffee, pride and pro-choice matches, guided meditations, sleep stories, and warm weather. If I don’t focus on these things (and more!), I’d be lying in a puddle of tears and despair.
If you’re reading this: You are doing a good job, friend.
My FACE itches, my eyes burn, and I am tired
Our baby is waking up at night again, no more than 3 hours straight of sleep, and his cry sounds like 120decibels :(