I can't help but read this and think how our society in general would benefit from this Bill of Rights. We're allowing ourselves to be become a country where our judgements and disagreements are dismantling our foundation. Adults are just children in larger bodies it seems. Harm affects us all.
I love the clarity and how it names so many things that often happen when kids are shuffling from one house to another.
For older kids ( tweens/teens), would this ever include the right to have their own preferences about which parent they stay with more or how often they switch between homes heard and considered?
Yes, great question! I absolutely think their preferences and opinions should be considered once kids are old enough. As you know, custody arrangements are often highly complex, and there are lots of factors to consider. And kids' desires don't *always* reflect what's best for them or their families as a whole. (I also wonder if preferences might tend to skew, on average, towards mom's house — and if so, we should consider whether a mother should always reflexively take on that extra labor.) Clearly these decisions need to be made thoughtfully and carefully — but yes to their opinions being part of the conversation. What do you think?
This is a great example! I've been divorced for almost five years now and I think one reason our kids have fared reasonably well is that their dad and I implicitly agreed to these principles, although they were never stated in an agreement like this (what a good idea!)
I can't help but read this and think how our society in general would benefit from this Bill of Rights. We're allowing ourselves to be become a country where our judgements and disagreements are dismantling our foundation. Adults are just children in larger bodies it seems. Harm affects us all.
I love the clarity and how it names so many things that often happen when kids are shuffling from one house to another.
For older kids ( tweens/teens), would this ever include the right to have their own preferences about which parent they stay with more or how often they switch between homes heard and considered?
Speaking from the experience of family members and their divorces, there is an age the child must get to before the child’s preference is considered.
Yes, great question! I absolutely think their preferences and opinions should be considered once kids are old enough. As you know, custody arrangements are often highly complex, and there are lots of factors to consider. And kids' desires don't *always* reflect what's best for them or their families as a whole. (I also wonder if preferences might tend to skew, on average, towards mom's house — and if so, we should consider whether a mother should always reflexively take on that extra labor.) Clearly these decisions need to be made thoughtfully and carefully — but yes to their opinions being part of the conversation. What do you think?
If my (still married) parents had had & been guided by & followed this Bill of Rights, I'd be much less messed up!
Same here!! So many of these things resonated with me, I was a messenger, confidant, therapist for my parents. Oof!
This is a great example! I've been divorced for almost five years now and I think one reason our kids have fared reasonably well is that their dad and I implicitly agreed to these principles, although they were never stated in an agreement like this (what a good idea!)