I am ALWAYS stumped by Fathers’ Day. There are four dads in my life (mine, my step-dad, my kids’ dad, his dad) and none of them really care about gifts or fit the classic golf/grilling dad stereotypes. I also have plenty of angry feminist feelings about the way this holiday leans into the stereotypes and tropes that enable dads to do less domestic work than moms. This year, I think I solved it: I’m making a donation to a charity that supports marginalized women on all of their behalf. Currently debating between one of the Gaza aid orgs (which I did for Mothers’ Day), National Network of Abortion Funds, or the National Domestic Workers Alliance, which fights for rights of house cleaners, nannies and other care workers. Or maybe I just solved my next THREE Fathers’ Days?! Will probably never buy another tie…
I’m getting a cameo from one of his favorite wrestlers!! Neither of us really like stuff so this is perfect. Not a big experience I have to plan but also not just another trinket that will get lost in the shuffle.
That book is not what you think! First there was There Are Moms Way Worse Than You, and it’s funny and surprisingly reassuring. It came out a couple years ago, and now dads get one.
Okay, thank you... I'll revise my thinking. :) I just really do not like the trope of dads contrasting themselves with deadbeat dads! As you probably know, having read this newsletter for so long, haha!
Oh absolutely! At our first kid’s baby shower, we got a onesie that said, “You can do it, Dad!” and had instructions like “Head goes here.” with arrows. Everyone laughed when we opened it, but I kind of wanted to scream.
I would agree... when I was struggling post-partum, my best friend of 30 years bought me the There Are Moms Way Worse Than You book and then she read it to me while I wallowed on the couch and it was hilarious. I mean it's mostly about animals who accidentally maim their children but she is a vet, so it landed well and was very cute.
I am making a video of our 2 year old saying all the things she loves about her dad. I am making one for my father, from his kids, as well. Easy to do in about 30 minutes total and they can keep it on their phones or a digital frame forever.
Reading this thread makes me wish I was doing something more meaningful, but I got my husband a shirt from teepublic with a design about a favorite hobby of his. Since Father's Day is closely followed by his birthday and our anniversary, I'm getting him also a Yeti mug (he uses my "Mom" mug daily, I usually use the travel mugs).
For both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day we keep it simple and make the parent’s favorite meal and do some sort of family activity. So for this Father’s Day we’ll probably go on a walk to the local doughnut shop to get their seasonal flavor he really wants to try. Then the toddler will “help” me make one of his favorite dinners.
I usually make food for my own dad, my mom no longer wants to really cook anything (she will cook breakfast food, but lunch & dinner are usually just things that need to be heated up not prepared, after over 50 years of doing 99% of the cooking I don’t blame her!) & my dad doesn’t cook at all in any way now so I will make a casserole that my mom used to make & it’s really a gift to both of them :) For my father in law I will usually have my daughter make a drawing & I’ll send it in a nice card, my in laws live on the other side of the country so we only see them in person maybe twice a year, a card & drawing feel like the right level of gift. For my husband I sometimes make it a joint gift for his birthday which is in July so one year it was a paddle board, this year it’s nice whisky glasses, a box of spicy/savory Japanese snacks, & a beautiful Japanese gift wrapping cloth (it’s kind of like a giant handkerchief but thicker material) all from a company called Bokksu (I get their monthly Japanese snack boxes but they sell other things too, they emailed me an add for Father’s Day gifts so they made it easy for me!)
For my husband, who IS a capable and present dad, I try to write a card that deeply sees him. I help the kids come up with a list of ways he makes them feel loved, for instance.
Also I got him a macrame plant hanger, because he really wanted one.
Last year I got my partner and our 1 yo matching hats. The hats are distinctive and cute, they love wearing them together, they always get compliments -- and people immediately know who goes with who.
I have no ideas. I just want to say thanks for all these ideas. My daughter is 3 years old and since she’s been born I mostly have done nothing to celebrate my husbands bday or Father’s Day. And I’ve been wanting to show him some extra TLC so these ideas are great!!
In our family, we focus on trying to give experiences over gifts so I worked with my daughter and we got them tickets to see a live performance of Avatar: The Last Airbender here in San Diego. It features a live orchestra and a screening of the clips of the show.
My father and I have been rebuilding our very strained relationship over the last few years so I’ll be going to see him to give him a break from caring my mother with Alzheimer’s and to keep him company.
I am ALWAYS stumped by Fathers’ Day. There are four dads in my life (mine, my step-dad, my kids’ dad, his dad) and none of them really care about gifts or fit the classic golf/grilling dad stereotypes. I also have plenty of angry feminist feelings about the way this holiday leans into the stereotypes and tropes that enable dads to do less domestic work than moms. This year, I think I solved it: I’m making a donation to a charity that supports marginalized women on all of their behalf. Currently debating between one of the Gaza aid orgs (which I did for Mothers’ Day), National Network of Abortion Funds, or the National Domestic Workers Alliance, which fights for rights of house cleaners, nannies and other care workers. Or maybe I just solved my next THREE Fathers’ Days?! Will probably never buy another tie…
Love this idea~ Thank you!!!
I’m getting a cameo from one of his favorite wrestlers!! Neither of us really like stuff so this is perfect. Not a big experience I have to plan but also not just another trinket that will get lost in the shuffle.
Amazing!!!!
That book is not what you think! First there was There Are Moms Way Worse Than You, and it’s funny and surprisingly reassuring. It came out a couple years ago, and now dads get one.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/there-are-moms-way-worse-than-you-glenn-boozan/1139774469
Okay, thank you... I'll revise my thinking. :) I just really do not like the trope of dads contrasting themselves with deadbeat dads! As you probably know, having read this newsletter for so long, haha!
Oh absolutely! At our first kid’s baby shower, we got a onesie that said, “You can do it, Dad!” and had instructions like “Head goes here.” with arrows. Everyone laughed when we opened it, but I kind of wanted to scream.
I would agree... when I was struggling post-partum, my best friend of 30 years bought me the There Are Moms Way Worse Than You book and then she read it to me while I wallowed on the couch and it was hilarious. I mean it's mostly about animals who accidentally maim their children but she is a vet, so it landed well and was very cute.
Okay, that sounds positive! I'll remove the dig from the online newsletter for people who happen to stumble across this thread online.
I mean, I think your sentiment about dad stereotypes is 110% -- I just wanted to put in a plug for the Moms version of the book! :)
The fact that there IS a mom version, and it came first, makes me think that the dad version does not deserve to be lambasted here :)
I am making a video of our 2 year old saying all the things she loves about her dad. I am making one for my father, from his kids, as well. Easy to do in about 30 minutes total and they can keep it on their phones or a digital frame forever.
I love this!
Reading this thread makes me wish I was doing something more meaningful, but I got my husband a shirt from teepublic with a design about a favorite hobby of his. Since Father's Day is closely followed by his birthday and our anniversary, I'm getting him also a Yeti mug (he uses my "Mom" mug daily, I usually use the travel mugs).
Oh gosh I don't want this thread to spark any guilt! We all have different traditions, and there is no right or wrong way to celebrate!
My husband is a coffee snob so he got 12 weeks of Trade Coffee (on sale!)
Outdoor things like a hammock have been a huge hit.
My husband also really liked fractures (glass printed photos), he has one of our engagement photos, and newborn photos of both our kids.
If the dads in your like are into games, I also have gifted my husband games he can play with our toddler!
If he likes console games, Little Kitty Big City has been a big hit - our 4 year old loves it and it's fun for adults
For both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day we keep it simple and make the parent’s favorite meal and do some sort of family activity. So for this Father’s Day we’ll probably go on a walk to the local doughnut shop to get their seasonal flavor he really wants to try. Then the toddler will “help” me make one of his favorite dinners.
I usually make food for my own dad, my mom no longer wants to really cook anything (she will cook breakfast food, but lunch & dinner are usually just things that need to be heated up not prepared, after over 50 years of doing 99% of the cooking I don’t blame her!) & my dad doesn’t cook at all in any way now so I will make a casserole that my mom used to make & it’s really a gift to both of them :) For my father in law I will usually have my daughter make a drawing & I’ll send it in a nice card, my in laws live on the other side of the country so we only see them in person maybe twice a year, a card & drawing feel like the right level of gift. For my husband I sometimes make it a joint gift for his birthday which is in July so one year it was a paddle board, this year it’s nice whisky glasses, a box of spicy/savory Japanese snacks, & a beautiful Japanese gift wrapping cloth (it’s kind of like a giant handkerchief but thicker material) all from a company called Bokksu (I get their monthly Japanese snack boxes but they sell other things too, they emailed me an add for Father’s Day gifts so they made it easy for me!)
yummm Japanese snack boxes
Melinda, for the not-great-but-loved dads, I have a fresh roundup of Father's Day cards that don't say more than the truth: https://mildregards.substack.com/p/fathers-day-cards-for-a-mediocre
(Some of them don't say anything, which is really useful sometimes.)
For my husband, who IS a capable and present dad, I try to write a card that deeply sees him. I help the kids come up with a list of ways he makes them feel loved, for instance.
Also I got him a macrame plant hanger, because he really wanted one.
Personalized Lego Mini-fig, Batman Lego set, new meat thermometer, and steam grill brush.
Last year I got my partner and our 1 yo matching hats. The hats are distinctive and cute, they love wearing them together, they always get compliments -- and people immediately know who goes with who.
This was the hat, but ofc the idea applies to other clothing too: https://weldmfg.co/products/checkerboard-field-trip-hat-8-colors (there's a separate kid size).
sooooo cute!
My dad was a Lawn Dad and liked this lawnmower polo from Fore Fathers: https://shopforefathers.com/products/turf-dad
One year I bought husband and baby matching "Regional Manager and Assistant to the Regional Manager" shirts: https://www.etsy.com/listing/687903040/father-son-matching-shirts-regional
Last year husband asked for this wallet and continues to love it: https://www.leatherology.com/thin-bifold-wallet?color=navy-blue
Hand made card with artwork from the kids is all we're doing. We live in a little house and can't handle any more stuff!
I have no ideas. I just want to say thanks for all these ideas. My daughter is 3 years old and since she’s been born I mostly have done nothing to celebrate my husbands bday or Father’s Day. And I’ve been wanting to show him some extra TLC so these ideas are great!!
In our family, we focus on trying to give experiences over gifts so I worked with my daughter and we got them tickets to see a live performance of Avatar: The Last Airbender here in San Diego. It features a live orchestra and a screening of the clips of the show.
My father and I have been rebuilding our very strained relationship over the last few years so I’ll be going to see him to give him a break from caring my mother with Alzheimer’s and to keep him company.
Concert / show tickets are always such a wonderful gift. Good luck with your dad!