This is so important for so many adults to read. (Including those of us who also find it hard to remember why we’re upstairs standing next to the sock drawer.) I would also add that people who identify as “highly sensitive” have been shown to often also have “Openness to Experiences” scores on the Big 5 —so they may be taking in even more stimuli, and even into adulthood, and are thus both more adaptable and more distractible. As someone who is like this, I would point out that these traits are beneficial to group functioning — they can result in better empathy and cross-cultural communication, for example — but they do require handling that takes those traits into account. Saying “Hey, do you have a minute?” to me or “Hey little bug, can we talk about today’s plans for a minute?” to my sensitive kiddo, then waiting for that person’s executive functioning to slowly task-switch from Curiosity/Hyperfocus to Listening/Planning Mode, makes all the difference.
Thank you for this addendum. My husband and I are both considered highly sensitive by our therapist, and one of our kids certainly is. The other may be, but less so. Still important to help task-switching with your suggestion.
As a highly sensitive person raising a highly sensitive child this makes soooo much sense. Thank you for sharing.
If I may ask, do you have any resources for learning more about effectively communicating with my child? I have always picked up so much information-- where people are looking, small tiny changes in facial expressions, etc and I thought it was weird that others don’t register these to the same degree. At some point I chalked this up to me being observant with a touch of neurotic and a big dose of anxious.
My child is similar. Super observant. It had not occurred to me until this moment that means he is taking in way more info and I may need to adjust the way we communicate as a result
My husband has serious ADHD - and have found the “give one direction at a time” useful for reducing stress and conflict there as well! So I’m sure this is doubly important for neurodiverse folks!
Really needed this today, thank you :)
Came here to say the same! I remembered this post as I was reading it, but it's such a good thing to be reminded of.
This is so important for so many adults to read. (Including those of us who also find it hard to remember why we’re upstairs standing next to the sock drawer.) I would also add that people who identify as “highly sensitive” have been shown to often also have “Openness to Experiences” scores on the Big 5 —so they may be taking in even more stimuli, and even into adulthood, and are thus both more adaptable and more distractible. As someone who is like this, I would point out that these traits are beneficial to group functioning — they can result in better empathy and cross-cultural communication, for example — but they do require handling that takes those traits into account. Saying “Hey, do you have a minute?” to me or “Hey little bug, can we talk about today’s plans for a minute?” to my sensitive kiddo, then waiting for that person’s executive functioning to slowly task-switch from Curiosity/Hyperfocus to Listening/Planning Mode, makes all the difference.
Thank you for this addendum. My husband and I are both considered highly sensitive by our therapist, and one of our kids certainly is. The other may be, but less so. Still important to help task-switching with your suggestion.
Thanks for sharing!! Great tip. My post on why kids don’t listen / hear us may also be helpful. I found the science there super interesting.
https://open.substack.com/pub/melindawmoyer/p/why-your-kid-doesnt-hear-you?r=uw8s&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I love this so much as well. Tip #2 is so effective and so compassionate. For both kids and adults!
As a highly sensitive person raising a highly sensitive child this makes soooo much sense. Thank you for sharing.
If I may ask, do you have any resources for learning more about effectively communicating with my child? I have always picked up so much information-- where people are looking, small tiny changes in facial expressions, etc and I thought it was weird that others don’t register these to the same degree. At some point I chalked this up to me being observant with a touch of neurotic and a big dose of anxious.
My child is similar. Super observant. It had not occurred to me until this moment that means he is taking in way more info and I may need to adjust the way we communicate as a result
I have this question on my short list to answer this fall!
My husband has serious ADHD - and have found the “give one direction at a time” useful for reducing stress and conflict there as well! So I’m sure this is doubly important for neurodiverse folks!