Welcome to .... NOW WHAT!

New year, new newsletter!!!

Today, this newsletter is getting a major makeover. It’s time to say goodbye to Is My Kid the Asshole? and time to say hello to ……

Yes, that’s right: This newsletter now goes by the name Now What. Some of you may not be surprised; I have talked about rebranding this newsletter a few times, both here and elsewhere. The idea has been percolating in my brain for a long while, but I’ve felt conflicted, because I know that many of you ADORE the name Is My Kid the Asshole?, and I totally understand — I do, too! That name has served this newsletter beautifully for more than four years (!!!), but I’ve come to realize that it no longer captures the spirit of what I am doing here. It was time, I realized, for a change.

Why Now What?

As you all know, I’ve been through a lot over the past year. (Honestly, I think we all have!) Separating from my husband of 15 years has involved so much self-reflection. I’ve been thinking long and hard about who I am, what I care about and want for parents everywhere, and how I want to spend my energy and efforts moving forward. That includes reflecting a lot on this newsletter and community, what it has become, and what it can be.

This newsletter has grown into something more wonderful and fulfilling than I ever imagined, and I believe it has a long and exciting road ahead of it.

When I started this newsletter in December 2020, the world was a different place. I was launching the newsletter in part because I was about to publish my first book, and I wanted to support the launch and help build an audience. My dear friend

Virginia Sole-Smith

came up with the name Is My Kid the Asshole? and to me it was the perfect choice, because at the time, I wanted this Substack to be a useful resource for parents who hoped to raise good humans but weren’t sure exactly how. I also loved how the name of the newsletter nodded to a popular subreddit and to the name of my book, How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes.

Fast forward four years, and today, this newsletter still focuses on not raising assholes. But it’s also grown into so much more. It’s a space in which we discuss the many ways in which the world is changing and how these changes are affecting parents and kids. It’s also a space in which I explore and share what the science says about how we can successfully navigate the various issues we are facing. I’m deeply invested, too, in understanding and discussing the broad skills our kids will need to survive and thrive in this evolving world and how we can nurture them. (This is also the inspiration for my second book Hello Cruel World!, which you can preorder now!)

One day, while thinking about this newsletter, the phrase Now What popped into my head. Because to me, Now What captures so many aspects of modern parenting. It’s both a question and an exclamation, and it passes through my head all the time. We and our kids are constantly bombarded with new trends and crises and are scrambling to figure out how to deal with them. There has been yet another school shooting — Now What? Trump just won the election — Now What? My kid just asked me, yet again, for a phone — Now What?

In addition to navigating all these new and stressful situations, we still have to manage the everyday relentlessness of raising small people. My kid has started hitting me — Now What? My son is refusing to go to clean his room — Now What? Kiddo, I literally just gave you a snack — Now What!!! As if that’s not enough, we (especially mothers) are bombarded with ever-increasing expectations and pressures driven by the ridiculous ideals of intensive parenting, and these deserve closer inspection, too. Now What lies are we being sold?

The list could go on and on and on; the point is, the phrase Now What, to me, ties all these modern parental experiences together. That’s why I’ve chosen this name for my newsletter. And look, I know that some of you still aren’t going to like it. That’s okay. I get it. I just hope that if you appreciate what we discuss here, you will stay and continue to learn with me — and educate me, because I learn a ton from you, too.

I wasn’t sure whether to run this newsletter as scheduled today because of the horrific California wildfires. But then I realized that the fact that the world is in crisis yet again — the fact that it now feels like there are endless crises — is one of the reasons I’m renaming this newsletter. I want this space to be a community where we can share and discuss everything we and our kids are going through and offer support and strategies to get us through the hardest moments. Last Friday, I wrote a Now What-inspired essay on how and why to talk to kids about the California fires.

What, exactly, is going to change?

Not much will change in terms of this newsletter’s content and focus. Now What is still a science-based parenting newsletter. The name change is more of a reflection of what it has already become, rather than what it will transform into. That said, I may start to expand the scope a bit more beyond parenting. I’ll be writing a lot about evidence-based parenting strategies, but I’ll also cover changes and trends in parenting culture, and I’ll dig into the many peripheral issues that affect parents’ lives.

One tangible change, however, is that there will soon be a price increase. For four years, the price of this newsletter has held constant, despite inflation.

But in two weeks, starting on January 28th, the price of this newsletter will increase to $7/month or $70/per year.

Current paid subscribers, don’t worry — as a thank you for supporting my work, you will continue to pay just $5 per month or $50 per year — forever. That includes anyone who subscribes for the first time before January 28th. So if you’ve been thinking about becoming a paid subscriber, do it now so you can lock in the lower price forever.

Moving forward, I’m also going to experiment with new ways of engaging with you and encouraging discussion within the community. I plan to use the chat function more; some of you have already been using it to crowdsource parenting ideas and strategies, which I love! I’ll soon be using the chat to ask what YOU would like to see more of here in the coming months and years, so stay tuned for that.

More than anything else, I’m amazed and thrilled at what this newsletter has become. There are more than 28,600 of you and the list continues to grow every day. I really can’t wait to see that the future holds for Now What.

I’m going to sign off today by sharing the beautiful new email banner that designer Areanna Egleston designed for me. If this image doesn’t capture what it’s like to be a parent these days, I’m not sure what does.

Welcome ….

to……..

Let me know what you think! Please leave a note in the comments! I’m so excited for what’s to come.