I Have Been On An Emotional Rollercoaster

Here's the simple advice that changed everything.

I’m just going to be straight with you. Over the past few months, I’ve been a bit of a mess. I’ve had waves of intense feelings that I don’t understand — and sometimes I’ve felt nothing at all, which, frankly, has been even worse. It’s been a journey, and I’m still on it, and I’m sure I’ll talk more about it as time goes on.

Today I want to share something specific that my therapist told me the other day that really resonated. It’s something I’ve heard before, in different contexts, and you may have, too — but you know how sometimes, things click only after they’ve been said in a certain way? I thought it might be helpful for you to hear this particular framing, because it has made a big difference for me over the past couple of weeks.

Today’s essay is more personal than my essays here usually are. I’m a private person, so it feels a little …. unsettling to open up like this. And I’m not quite ready for the entire Internet to know. So I’m putting today’s essay behind a paywall — not because I don’t love and trust you, free subscribers, but because I don’t want trolls and naysayers on my case. (I don’t get a lot of hate mail about this newsletter, but I have gotten a few nasty, ad hominem attacks.) Again though: If any of you cannot afford a paid subscription, please reach out and let me know and I will happily comp you. I want my newsletter to be accessible.

So, here goes.