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Virginia Sole-Smith's avatar

End of year mental load is SO REALLLL. Back when I was in the hell of summer camp planning, my husband recognized that he wasn't doing enough mental load work and asked what he could take on and I said (for starters) "every random email the school sends about stuff to send in or sign or venmo." He's doing it and it's making my end of year so much less frenetic-feeling so yay for making labor visible!

But he's also away at a conference this week, and continuing to respond to school venmo requests from there but it means I'm doing the art show/concert schedule solo. I don't mind TOO much because kids performing gives me so much joy, but the logistics of wardrobe requirements and timing and all that are A LOT. (Grateful to Last December Me who ordered the chorus uniform in two sizes because I realized last night that I'm pretty sure my 9 year old has had a growth spurt since the last concert and what she wore then will not fit! But gah!)

Also we just pretty much opted out of the 26 days of fun nonsense. My kids couldn't figure out why it would be interesting to bring in beach towels on Monday and without him here to remember what letter/assignment we're on, I just... refuse to care or sell them on it. Seems fine!

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Ryan Rose Weaver (she/hers)'s avatar

We were in the ER on Mother’s Day (long story, that lives here: https://open.substack.com/pub/ryanroseweaver/p/finding-a-safe-place-for-the-minds-loose-change).

The day after, we brought our kid to school with a gigantic bandage on his head, expecting his teacher to express some basic curiosity or concern about it. But when we handed him off, all she said was, “It’s really urgent that he come in tomorrow with the white t-shirt we requested this week. We need to decorate them in time for the end of school picnic.”

Like... what? When that is framed the most urgent thing, in this situation --or any situation! -- we have lost the plot. And I say this as an educator myself, who understands that sometimes, the pressure is put on teachers from above or outside, and it’s getting to them too in weird ways.

Anne Helen Petersen had a great piece about Spirit Days a while back that captures this vibe really well -- the “death march of fun” feeling that everyone involved in preK-12 seems to get trapped in at certain times of the year, and the importance of asking if anyone is actually still enjoying themselves at this point, or if we can just finally let some of this ish go.

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