Weekly thread: How Do You Maintain Your Friendships?
Parenting, as we all know, is relentless. Our to-do lists never end and the mental labor is exhausting. So my question for this week’s thread is this: What do you do to maintain your friendships? How do you stay in touch with your friends, and how do you make the time to see them?
I have a couple of group text threads that are basically my lifelines. I have one with friends from grad school that is the first thing I look at when I wake up and the last thing I look at when I go to sleep. We are constantly venting, asking each other questions, sharing concerns, being silly — and it’s the best thing ever, even though I so rarely get to see these friends in real life (though we do get together at least once a year for a weekend away).
I admit, though, that I’m not as a great about maintaining in-person friendships with friends who live close by. I will think to myself, “I need to reach out to so-and-so to see if she’s free for lunch!” … and then three months will go by and oops, I never did reach out, and then I feel really guilty. I am not sure why this is so hard for me, but it is.
So today I’m wondering what you do to keep your friendships going, whether they’re with friends who live far away or friends who live close by. How do you stay connected? How do you make time to hang out (and/or remember to schedule outings)? What have you found has worked well for you? Or… what do you struggle with? Please share!
I love baking bread, and these days I can usually figure out how to fit it in around work + my 13 month old, so most weeks I bake two loaves and text someone "Would you like a loaf of bread?" It's a great excuse to stop by and have a short chat. I've been able to strengthen some more casual neighbor connections, too. Sometimes I need another perspective in my day and running into a neighbor is just the right amount of social connection to keep me going.
The only reason I see my dentist regularly is because my dentist won’t let me leave without scheduling another appointment (stay with me here). I had success getting another date on the calendar before ending a friend hang. Even if that doesn’t turn out to be THE date, it functions as a nudge to find another time to get together