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Steady Flows Steady Knows's avatar

I really appreciate this piece. Thank you. Can't wait to read your new book. <3

In answer to your question (how are you?): I'm exhuasted. Because I live in SW Michigan and in the 15 years I've lived here, I've never seen this much snow and cold. Yes also, the political onslaught. Yes also, mother of 4 kids who live at home. Yes also, economic stress due to my field of employment (DEI) being under attack and my income, as a result, being 1/4 of what it was this time last year. But seriously: winter.

Last week I listened to a podcast that was about surviving winter. I found the social psychologist interviewed in that episode quite lovely. She'd loathed winter all her life, but then moved to some incredibly cold nordic region to do anthropological analysis. The basic take-away of the podcast, for me, was this: these places actually do cultural adaptation during the winter that improves their wellness; therefore, if we can learn from them, shift our mindsets along similar lines, we too can experience enhanced wellness in winter.

Here's my beef: when it comes to power, causality and consequence (of any kind) there's just no comparing cultural adaptation and individual mindset shift. I know they're not entirely separate, like one can lead to the other and vice versa. And when it comes to winter, I can only do some many mind hacks to try to beat back my body's natural response to the season it's in. Same with my kids. They need more rest and sleep, not the same things. My middle kids (11 and 12) have missed a TON of school this winter; yes it's sickness but also, they just can't wake up in the morning. My youngest (4) has to be physically forced (i feel like an entire hypocrite re: values of bodily consent) out of the car and into preschool every day. I feel like I've run a marathon after leaving him with his teachers and walking down the hall toward the exit. I keep asking myself, as I hear him screaming and crying, is this the way a child's nervous system is supposed to orient to a new day at the threshold of an institution/social group?

There are social contracts I have as a parent: I keep my kids attending the institutions that steward their learning and growth and those institutions do the stuff of learning and growth with/for my kids. And I gotta say: those institutions, when they're not culturally adaptating to the seasons BECAUSE THERE'S NO MANDATE FROM THE CULTURE TO DO SO, make it incredibly hard for me to keep my side of the contract.

I don't want my children to learn that they've got to hack their bodies and minds natural responses to the seasons in order to be functioning citizens. Seriously fuck that. Like at what point do we realize that putting capitalism's rhythms over and against the planet's is choosing to be and stay in an escape room that's really just hell on earth?

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Laura C's avatar

I spent like 15 years doing politics as my job, and I developed an immense ability to compartmentalize. I'm so grateful I'm not required to think about politics 45-50 hours a week anymore, because my ability to keep my feelings about politics separate from my feelings about my life is now *almost* enough to hold it together as I read a more normal amount of news.

I'm more impatient with the adults in my life when they do want to talk about what's going on in the world and I kind of grit my teeth and nod and respond appropriately but mostly I want to say "I do not need to be taking on your emotions about this right now!"

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