OMG. The only day my kids cared about was A Day because you could bring a stuffed animal. The only day I cared about was F Day because I knew they would like bringing in books and it felt “easy” — except then we ALL FORGOT ABOUT IT YESTERDAY. I realized at like 7pm and my 6yo just said “oh Mama, I like plenty of books.” 😂 I remember this happened last year too — we just fully stopped paying attention to the countdown by D or E day. It’s almost the end of the year, we’re barely making it there as it is and this year is also consumed by all the 5th grade moving up celebration stuff… I think it just DOES NOT NEED TO BE THE FULL ALPHABET?! Gah.
Yeah, I was like "this is the ONE day we can surely handle." Nope. But they didn't even seem to care? Which is a useful lesson for me in not assuming we NEED to excel at all of these arbitrary parent homework assignments...
My kids are in preschool, not elementary school, so we don’t have spirit weeks. But each Friday is “share day,” where they’re supposed to bring an item to tell the class about. In my son’s class, share day is always theme-less, and it’s usually easy - he grabs a toy or book or weirdly shaped acorn or whatever on the way out the door. In my daughter’s class, however, there’s a theme each week, like being a book about an animal, or bring two things that rhyme, or send in your baby photo. It’s a cute idea, but she’s THREE. There are meltdowns.
What haven’t I thought of this! We try to remember the themes bc the teachers guilt is a little when kids don’t have stuff to share but I often forget when it’s Friday. 🤦🏽♀️
My children's preschool has done multiple spirit weeks, which is unhinged. At least when they are very little I've been able to "forget" with minimal consequences.
It also needs to be less about conformity and more about play and joy, in my opinion. Wednesday can be: wear your favorite sports gear, pajamas, or your favorite color. Like, make it easier and simpler.
This is a classic problem where something SEEMS like a good idea but is terrible in practice and we just can’t quit it — or rather, it keeps spiraling out of control. This happens in workplaces (be on every social channel! Plus a podcast, no, four podcasts! And dms and reels and posts and stories!).
The skill of picking one or two things and ignoring the rest is the real leadership skill, of self and others.
Seth Godin taught me a great principle about this: he always asks the question, “what is it for?” And it helps redefine why we’re doing what we’re doing.
But goodness do I do this too — planning too many summer vacations, adventures … it’s everywhere.
Yes, our school did "write your teacher a nice note" at a table one day for teacher appreciation week.
Everything school related that doesn't use school resources and take place during the school day means that kids without resources are unwelcome members of the school community. Nearly a quarter of kids in my kid's school receive free or reduced lunch, are they supposed to be buying extra costumes and junk for fun weeks?
With my son I felt a lot more annoyance at school spirit days because he doesn't need any motivation to go to school, he's raring to go. However my daughter is a homebody and an introvert and I will say that the ABCs have been super motivating for her. She is more self-directed (even at 5) so she runs each day to find out what the day is and is totally motivated to go to school. So for some kids there can be a positive!
My school ended the ABC countdown this year THANK GOD because it was too much. BUT we still have decade days where instead of just having kids dressed up like a “grandma or grandpa” on the 100th day of school they have a dress up day every 10 days starting on the 50th day of school for 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. Pajama day is great. Know what I don’t have lying around the house in every size for ages 6-10? A poodle skirt.
Haven't heard of an ABC countdown, that sounds like A LOT. My kids' school does the occasional spirit week and I'm very relieved that my kids see it as a menu of "I like this day so I'm going to do it" and "I don't care about this so I'll skip it" items. If they got stressed about it I would not be a fan.
This is how my children see it as well, and I try to teach them that whatever they do at school is their responsibility. When they have to do the work of thinking things up/shopping for silly socks/making sure the thing they want is clean on the day they want it, there are usually other things they would rather do with their time.
Our school has decided to do Friday Spirit Day Countdown for the last 8 weeks of school in order to really prolong the misery. Although, I do love a costume and was VERY PROUD of my 7 yo for picking Pilot Barbie for Barbie/Ken Day. But today we have arrived at Twins Day which I knew was going to be trouble from the start. All week it has been drama about who to be twins with and then multiple calls to see if perhaps her twin has the same dress that her grandmother sent two years ago from Florida? No? What about this random teeshirt from last summer's bike camp? I caved and we fully went to Target at 7:30 last night to get a pair of matching leggings. And the real kicker is THEY WEAR UNIFORMS! EVERYONE IS PRACTICALLY TWINS EVERYDAY! Gah. Thank god next week is Mismatch Day and she can wear whatever the hell she wants.
OMG TWINS DAY! Luckily the elementary school my kids attend has dropped this one, but there was a Twins Day during spirit week a couple years ago that was meltdown city, USA because some moms of girls on my daughter's soccer team made a plan within their clique for the girls to wear their soccer uniforms to school, but of course didn't include ALL the players in this plan so there were LOTS of (warranted) hurt feelings that day. I've gotten more comfortable as my kids have gotten older just....naming this kind of bad behavior in adults which has been liberating for me and I think a powerful lesson for my kids about the importance of being considerate and inclusive.
Oh crikey. I'm getting flashbacks to when my son was in primary school. Here in Switzerland, it is firmly not ok for both parents to be working full time. (Schools close for an hour and a half at midday so the kiddos can go home for lunch, in case you did not get the hint. ) Because I was a Bad Mom whose child went to afterschool care ($150/day including lunch), one of us would pick up the boy at 6 pm to learn that Something was required for the next day. Everyone had to bring 5 cupcakes to share and trade with the other class. We are covering our books as an art project and he has to bring green glitter glue. It is "dress as your favorite animal" day, but only in the afternoon so the kid has to schlep his costume (what costume?!) all day because no one is home at lunchtime to dress him. Let me add that there are no Walmarts or Targets or 24-hour-shops in this country. A decade ago, the groceries were still closing at 6 pm (now open till... 8? some of them?). Thank god they haven't heard of Spirit week here. Yet.
We actually had easy spirit week! It was just this week, the last one, and all of the themes were easy.
Sports day (wear sports apparel) -- my kid wears his Denver Nuggets hat every day anyway
Hair day -- his hair is short so I just added some gel and spiked it
Dress as your favorite teacher -- his teacher wears a t-shirt, long pants, and tennis shoes every day (my kid did ask if we had any black hair dye, the night before, and I said nope, sorry, and there were no tears, just a shrug)
Mismatch shoe day -- he wore one tennis shoe and one sandal
ahaha this is right on time, we are on "T" day and had school carnival --- indoors b/c weather --- last night and i was toast. i cant keep it all straight. may is cray. also, who scheduled teacher appreciation week and mother's day the same week? probably a man lol but seriously
I’ll never stop being mad that teacher appreciation week is the week leading up to Mother’s Day. And I live in Texas where school ends before Memorial Day--which means that end of year teacher cards/gifts are due 2 weeks after teacher appreciation week. I can’t handle it all.
Kid in middle school. There seem to be multiple spirit weeks. Recently there was one themed something like student/teacher week (maybe to coincide with Teacher Appreciation Day). I read the themes to him (Monday was dress like a teacher day, e.g.) and he was like, “I’m not doing that.” Reminded me that while this is all organized by a well-meaning PTO, we can always opt out!
Thankfully my kid isn’t there yet but I genuinely want to know, who came up with this torture and why are we continuing to implement it? I don’t remember this when I went to school (many decades ago but still)!
That’s what I thought! And it was part of the fall. Not end of school if I remember correctly. Early enough in the school year where people still cared and had energy 😂
We dont have end of year spirit day stuff but before winter break, we had spirit week. Again simple enough stuff in theory, wear blue and white one day for hanukkah, Kwanzaa colours one day, etc. The day that started with tears for my 6 year old was candy cane lane day. Wear red and white. Simple enough right? She put on her clothes and burst into tears because she didn't look like a candy cane... sigh...lol
My daughter’s school does an ABC countdown but it doesn’t have the kids bringing or wearing something everyday. For C it was Compliment Day, the kids wrote down compliments for each other on small slips of paper & which then got stapled together so each kid got to go home with a little compliment book, it required me to do nothing & the kids got to practice writing :) Also my daughter’s teacher this year made a handout with the days they have to bring or wear something already highlighted so I was able to go over it with my daughter pretty quickly & brainstorm with her in advance about what to do for several of the days. U is the only day she’s not doing because it’s Uniform Day & she doesn’t have any kind of uniform to wear (& nobody in our household does either) so I just told her “You can’t do this one, we don’t have anything for it” & she just said “Ok, that’s fine, I don’t have to do every single one” She’s 7 & I very much appreciate when she’s chill about something like this :)
I also kind of protected my time & sanity this year by not volunteering for quite so many things at the end of the year & only choosing the ones I really enjoy. This year instead of volunteering for Field Day (I had to man Tug of War last year, it was not fun 😑) I volunteered to help clean up after the book fair (I’m very good at cleaning & organization), my daughter came with & she was actually really helpful! I was surprised with how well she did given that right before we left home to go back to the school she came out of her room coughing & sobbing saying she was going to die or need surgery because she was pretty sure she had just swallowed a LEGO (WHY WAS THERE A LEGO IN YOUR MOUTH TO BEGIN WITH!) It was a very small LEGO & I reassured her several times that she will likely just poo it out later. Sigh.
OMG. The only day my kids cared about was A Day because you could bring a stuffed animal. The only day I cared about was F Day because I knew they would like bringing in books and it felt “easy” — except then we ALL FORGOT ABOUT IT YESTERDAY. I realized at like 7pm and my 6yo just said “oh Mama, I like plenty of books.” 😂 I remember this happened last year too — we just fully stopped paying attention to the countdown by D or E day. It’s almost the end of the year, we’re barely making it there as it is and this year is also consumed by all the 5th grade moving up celebration stuff… I think it just DOES NOT NEED TO BE THE FULL ALPHABET?! Gah.
Nooooooooooo. And your kiddos are epic bookworms, and you WRITE BOOKS. Clear evidence that it's all just too much!
Yeah, I was like "this is the ONE day we can surely handle." Nope. But they didn't even seem to care? Which is a useful lesson for me in not assuming we NEED to excel at all of these arbitrary parent homework assignments...
F Day = Fuck This Day
I wrote an article about this at the beginning of this school year! And there have been WAY fewer spirit days at our school this year, and mostly of the “wear school colors” sort. Coincidence? I think not. (Jk.) https://www.businessinsider.com/school-spirit-days-are-out-of-control-2023-9
I totally read your article when it came out!
My kids are in preschool, not elementary school, so we don’t have spirit weeks. But each Friday is “share day,” where they’re supposed to bring an item to tell the class about. In my son’s class, share day is always theme-less, and it’s usually easy - he grabs a toy or book or weirdly shaped acorn or whatever on the way out the door. In my daughter’s class, however, there’s a theme each week, like being a book about an animal, or bring two things that rhyme, or send in your baby photo. It’s a cute idea, but she’s THREE. There are meltdowns.
Oh yes, that is far too complicated!!!!
My kid's show and share days also have themes and we just ignore them and bring favorite studies anyway 😅
What haven’t I thought of this! We try to remember the themes bc the teachers guilt is a little when kids don’t have stuff to share but I often forget when it’s Friday. 🤦🏽♀️
My children's preschool has done multiple spirit weeks, which is unhinged. At least when they are very little I've been able to "forget" with minimal consequences.
I wish I could attach an image to a comment because the threads between parents are just so funny and so painful when it comes to spirit week.
We need spirit DAY. And it needs to be a Wednesday. It can’t start on Monday. One in the fall and one in the spring is PLENTY.
It also needs to be less about conformity and more about play and joy, in my opinion. Wednesday can be: wear your favorite sports gear, pajamas, or your favorite color. Like, make it easier and simpler.
Yesssssssss
What you described is very close to how my son’s school does things (but once a month-on a Wed!), and I appreciate very much.
This is a classic problem where something SEEMS like a good idea but is terrible in practice and we just can’t quit it — or rather, it keeps spiraling out of control. This happens in workplaces (be on every social channel! Plus a podcast, no, four podcasts! And dms and reels and posts and stories!).
The skill of picking one or two things and ignoring the rest is the real leadership skill, of self and others.
Seth Godin taught me a great principle about this: he always asks the question, “what is it for?” And it helps redefine why we’re doing what we’re doing.
But goodness do I do this too — planning too many summer vacations, adventures … it’s everywhere.
Why can’t most of these be done entirely at school?! Like, go to the library to find the book. Do class art projects, etc
Yes, our school did "write your teacher a nice note" at a table one day for teacher appreciation week.
Everything school related that doesn't use school resources and take place during the school day means that kids without resources are unwelcome members of the school community. Nearly a quarter of kids in my kid's school receive free or reduced lunch, are they supposed to be buying extra costumes and junk for fun weeks?
With my son I felt a lot more annoyance at school spirit days because he doesn't need any motivation to go to school, he's raring to go. However my daughter is a homebody and an introvert and I will say that the ABCs have been super motivating for her. She is more self-directed (even at 5) so she runs each day to find out what the day is and is totally motivated to go to school. So for some kids there can be a positive!
My school ended the ABC countdown this year THANK GOD because it was too much. BUT we still have decade days where instead of just having kids dressed up like a “grandma or grandpa” on the 100th day of school they have a dress up day every 10 days starting on the 50th day of school for 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. Pajama day is great. Know what I don’t have lying around the house in every size for ages 6-10? A poodle skirt.
All these comments are making me laugh in solidarity. But the poodle skirt... I feel you. lol
Decade days sound like a real PITA!
Haven't heard of an ABC countdown, that sounds like A LOT. My kids' school does the occasional spirit week and I'm very relieved that my kids see it as a menu of "I like this day so I'm going to do it" and "I don't care about this so I'll skip it" items. If they got stressed about it I would not be a fan.
This is how my children see it as well, and I try to teach them that whatever they do at school is their responsibility. When they have to do the work of thinking things up/shopping for silly socks/making sure the thing they want is clean on the day they want it, there are usually other things they would rather do with their time.
Our school has decided to do Friday Spirit Day Countdown for the last 8 weeks of school in order to really prolong the misery. Although, I do love a costume and was VERY PROUD of my 7 yo for picking Pilot Barbie for Barbie/Ken Day. But today we have arrived at Twins Day which I knew was going to be trouble from the start. All week it has been drama about who to be twins with and then multiple calls to see if perhaps her twin has the same dress that her grandmother sent two years ago from Florida? No? What about this random teeshirt from last summer's bike camp? I caved and we fully went to Target at 7:30 last night to get a pair of matching leggings. And the real kicker is THEY WEAR UNIFORMS! EVERYONE IS PRACTICALLY TWINS EVERYDAY! Gah. Thank god next week is Mismatch Day and she can wear whatever the hell she wants.
OMG TWINS DAY! Luckily the elementary school my kids attend has dropped this one, but there was a Twins Day during spirit week a couple years ago that was meltdown city, USA because some moms of girls on my daughter's soccer team made a plan within their clique for the girls to wear their soccer uniforms to school, but of course didn't include ALL the players in this plan so there were LOTS of (warranted) hurt feelings that day. I've gotten more comfortable as my kids have gotten older just....naming this kind of bad behavior in adults which has been liberating for me and I think a powerful lesson for my kids about the importance of being considerate and inclusive.
Ugh this is horrible.
Twins day sounds like a social nightmare!
Oh crikey. I'm getting flashbacks to when my son was in primary school. Here in Switzerland, it is firmly not ok for both parents to be working full time. (Schools close for an hour and a half at midday so the kiddos can go home for lunch, in case you did not get the hint. ) Because I was a Bad Mom whose child went to afterschool care ($150/day including lunch), one of us would pick up the boy at 6 pm to learn that Something was required for the next day. Everyone had to bring 5 cupcakes to share and trade with the other class. We are covering our books as an art project and he has to bring green glitter glue. It is "dress as your favorite animal" day, but only in the afternoon so the kid has to schlep his costume (what costume?!) all day because no one is home at lunchtime to dress him. Let me add that there are no Walmarts or Targets or 24-hour-shops in this country. A decade ago, the groceries were still closing at 6 pm (now open till... 8? some of them?). Thank god they haven't heard of Spirit week here. Yet.
Oh man, that sounds so hard!!!
Oh my gosh this is awful!!! I’m so sorry!
We actually had easy spirit week! It was just this week, the last one, and all of the themes were easy.
Sports day (wear sports apparel) -- my kid wears his Denver Nuggets hat every day anyway
Hair day -- his hair is short so I just added some gel and spiked it
Dress as your favorite teacher -- his teacher wears a t-shirt, long pants, and tennis shoes every day (my kid did ask if we had any black hair dye, the night before, and I said nope, sorry, and there were no tears, just a shrug)
Mismatch shoe day -- he wore one tennis shoe and one sandal
Comfy cozy/pajama day
ahaha this is right on time, we are on "T" day and had school carnival --- indoors b/c weather --- last night and i was toast. i cant keep it all straight. may is cray. also, who scheduled teacher appreciation week and mother's day the same week? probably a man lol but seriously
I’ll never stop being mad that teacher appreciation week is the week leading up to Mother’s Day. And I live in Texas where school ends before Memorial Day--which means that end of year teacher cards/gifts are due 2 weeks after teacher appreciation week. I can’t handle it all.
Kid in middle school. There seem to be multiple spirit weeks. Recently there was one themed something like student/teacher week (maybe to coincide with Teacher Appreciation Day). I read the themes to him (Monday was dress like a teacher day, e.g.) and he was like, “I’m not doing that.” Reminded me that while this is all organized by a well-meaning PTO, we can always opt out!
Thankfully my kid isn’t there yet but I genuinely want to know, who came up with this torture and why are we continuing to implement it? I don’t remember this when I went to school (many decades ago but still)!
We had spirit week in the 80s but only in high school.
That’s what I thought! And it was part of the fall. Not end of school if I remember correctly. Early enough in the school year where people still cared and had energy 😂
haha! The end of the year is so much!
Agree - I don’t remember ever having any of this!
We dont have end of year spirit day stuff but before winter break, we had spirit week. Again simple enough stuff in theory, wear blue and white one day for hanukkah, Kwanzaa colours one day, etc. The day that started with tears for my 6 year old was candy cane lane day. Wear red and white. Simple enough right? She put on her clothes and burst into tears because she didn't look like a candy cane... sigh...lol
Haha awwww
My daughter’s school does an ABC countdown but it doesn’t have the kids bringing or wearing something everyday. For C it was Compliment Day, the kids wrote down compliments for each other on small slips of paper & which then got stapled together so each kid got to go home with a little compliment book, it required me to do nothing & the kids got to practice writing :) Also my daughter’s teacher this year made a handout with the days they have to bring or wear something already highlighted so I was able to go over it with my daughter pretty quickly & brainstorm with her in advance about what to do for several of the days. U is the only day she’s not doing because it’s Uniform Day & she doesn’t have any kind of uniform to wear (& nobody in our household does either) so I just told her “You can’t do this one, we don’t have anything for it” & she just said “Ok, that’s fine, I don’t have to do every single one” She’s 7 & I very much appreciate when she’s chill about something like this :)
I also kind of protected my time & sanity this year by not volunteering for quite so many things at the end of the year & only choosing the ones I really enjoy. This year instead of volunteering for Field Day (I had to man Tug of War last year, it was not fun 😑) I volunteered to help clean up after the book fair (I’m very good at cleaning & organization), my daughter came with & she was actually really helpful! I was surprised with how well she did given that right before we left home to go back to the school she came out of her room coughing & sobbing saying she was going to die or need surgery because she was pretty sure she had just swallowed a LEGO (WHY WAS THERE A LEGO IN YOUR MOUTH TO BEGIN WITH!) It was a very small LEGO & I reassured her several times that she will likely just poo it out later. Sigh.
Your kid’s teacher sounds amazing! And good for you for not feeling compelled to volunteer for all the stuff!