I did talk to my 5 year old daughter yesterday morning- I had barely pulled myself together 10 minutes before, so she could tell I had been crying. I said to her, “You know how you talked about the election at school yesterday?” She nodded yes. And I said, “Mommy and Daddy disagreed about who we thought the best person for the job of President was, so he voted for Donald Trump, and Mommy voted for Kamala. I am sad today because Kamala lost, and I don’t think that Daddy is right that Trump will be a good President, but we both love each other, and we love you, so I am just sad today.”
She didn’t really say anything, she just hugged me, and when we got in the car she said, “I think we should listen to Taylor Swift since that makes us happy!” And I turned on our CD with the Red bonus tracks.
My 9 yr old asked over dinner who won the election. She was upset when I told her. I went on to explain what Kamala said in her concession speech, why Mommy and Daddy were so sad over the results, why we voted the way we did, what the candidates' messages were, etc. I think I went too far at times by sharing that close family members, notably my parents, voted for him and that hurts me even more. My 6 yr old started crying once I got going with my tears and he said he didn't understand how, "he can do those crimes and then be president." Ultimately I'm glad we had the talk we did, bc we touched upon a variety of issues and I felt like they were really considering our words and why we have the passion we do for getting our voices heard.
Anne, I just wanted to say that I don't think it's too far to share that close family members voted for him. I had the same conversation with my 8 year old. I thought it was important to help him not demonize Trump voters and to understand the complexities involved. My dad and much of his family (including a favorite aunt which has hurt the most) are Trump supporters. Meanwhile, my Mom is horrified by Trump and my dad's support of him. So she's grieving, my husband and I are grieving, and so many others are as well. I wanted to - gently - introduce that to my son. We are talking about how you respond to others - classmates, family members, etc. - in ways that are respectful but also strongly demonstrate your values and opinions. I am here in the comments to get more ideas about how to do that though because I struggle with it!
Thank you for sharing! I believe my approach in telling my kids who voted for him was more aggressive than I'd like, upon reflection, given how raw my emotions were at the time. My relationship with my father has been fraught for most of my life, so therein lies an extra sensitive trigger for me already. I, too, have been reading others' experiences in attempt to learn from and grow.
My 6yo told me in the car yesterday evening that he is scared for Australia because grandma said that Trump wants to make friends with Russia (we aren’t American/don’t even live in America and my kids are impacted by this whole thing). We had an extensive conversation about democracy and politicians and Russia and voting to try to make things better for everyone and how things are complicated. My 4yo suggested violence because that’s currently his default answer to everything. In the end we talked about DOING things (not violent things) instead of just sitting being scared. I was initially pretty annoyed at grandma for freaking him out, but it turned out to be a good, if exhausting conversation.
He still says he’s scared though, and while I’m not sure I’m scared for the same reasons, I can’t honestly tell him that fear isn’t an appropriate response.
I talked to both my kids yesterday morning- my husband talked to our almost 8 yo first and then he came to find me already doom scrolling at 6 am to confirm it was true that Trump won. He saw me scroll past a story where it said America fucked up and he said yes they did! But I thought your post from a few days ago helped. I was crying when we talked but we were in the dark and I had my arm around him- I said people probably felt desperate for a change and they didn’t trust Kamala to make their lives better. I told him I was disappointed but daddy and I would do everything we could to keep him and his brother safe.
About 20 minutes later all 3 of us got my youngest up. He asked what happened and husband sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his hair and said Trump won. And he asked why and we repeated the same things. We told them it was our job to keep them safe and reminded them he doesn’t become president for another couple months. We got ready for school and my oldest asked if we could listen to Down Bad in the car. I said fine and sang loudly along to it.
My MIL is supposed to volunteer on Wednesdays in kindergarten. Apparently she couldn’t stay with the little kids with their happy faces and started crying- she told me my 5 yo gave her a hug and said he would see her later when she said she couldn’t stay. She still went to her hair appointment with her family friend and my kids talked to her after school about how they didn’t like Trump and people had mentioned him on the bus.
I missed the live concession speech but started watching it during my oldest’ piano lesson. He only saw the part about young people and the sky full of stars. I said her words reminded me of the song from Sing 2 and we listened to that together. I went to book club last night and I don’t know if they mentioned anything else with my husband. Because I slept so poorly the night before I was still home to say good night to them but only kissed them and said I loved them.
We are leaving on our anniversary trip tomorrow so this morning my kids woke up and said- Nana and Pop come tonight! I don’t know what else I will say in the coming days. I haven’t cried in about 12 hours now so maybe I’ve moved out of my sobbing phase but we will see.
I watched the concession speech and started crying a little again, but I think my sobbing phase is over for now. I do appreciate Armando saying he is always willing to be there for me to talk to at work. It does mean a lot to have a director who treats me as both a good employee and close friend.
We've leaned a lot into what we can still do, ourselves, to make our own community and the world a better place. Mine are 7 and 9 and we've done a lot with the food bank because they understand the need for food (and because it's something we grownups feel strongly about, too) and we talked about how we'll still do that and still be making a difference.
My kids are pretty little - one 4.5yo and a 9 day old baby - so neither of them are directly following electoral politics. But my 4.5yo did see me kind of collapse sobbing into my husband yesterday morning, yay breastfeeding hormones and sleep deprivation.
Thankfully my husband took point because I was not able to answer without more bawling. He said something like “this mean person is the leader of the whole country now, and we were hoping that wouldn’t happen. We’re sad and scared” and something about how we would keep her and baby bro safe.
We’ve really leaned into “mean” to describe Trump, rather than “bad”. “Mean” is a behavior choice rather than inherent personal quality, and it’s one the pre-k set definitely understands. And it’s true! He is mean.
We did not talk about her beloved grandmother, a WI Trump voter who was in town for one more day, but goddamn it sticks in my craw. But we’ll definitely out Grandma when our daughter is a little older. My husband had so many real, vulnerable talks with her asking that she just leave the presidential race blank if she couldn’t bring herself to do more. But I know she voted for that mean person for a third time.
It really is. She has lots of genuinely wonderful, caring qualities, but when you spend enough time with her you can really see the paranoid, resentful streak that suffuses so much right wing and evangelical politics (which she is). Eg, she stayed as long as she did because I had an incredibly difficult complex c section (finally learned how to spell hemorrhage because I’ve typed it so much now). The primary surgeon did a loooong and really good debrief with me during her rounds a few days later. MIL immediately assumed this meant they made some kind of mistake and were worried about being sued. No possibility the doctor knows I left half my blood on the OR floor and feels human compassion for me. 🙄
It has always been so foreign to me bc that’s not the Jesus I was raised with. But then again, I was raised Catholic, which they barely think counts, and in a “liberation theology” Catholic tradition, which *definitely* doesn’t.
My 7 year old son is upset and scared. He asked if we would need to board up the windows when we told him Trump won. I told him he is safe and that the big change is not that I’m scared (I am though) but that we have a lot of work to do. I said we have to help our community so much more now because a lot of the help in our country is going to go away. I said we all have each other and that is where we need to focus. We talked about ways we can help. I don’t feel great about the conversation but I tried.
After school yesterday he told me that he and his friends talked about the election but had to stop because some kids were scared. I asked for more information and he said that they talked about how maybe Trump will die of an ear infection from the gunshot or maybe someone would kill him. He said another boy said Trump only listens to white men and a lot of his class is Black and Brown and they got really scared so they all decided to stop talking and play. And play! He’s in second grade and my heart is shattered for these kids.
Oh- and my 4 year old daughter was listening and said “ugh I hate da boys I only like little boys and I’ll kill that bad man”. A lot to unpack there but I just said we won’t use violence or something hallow.
This is the first time we are early empty nesters, as our 16 year-old is at an arts boarding school. The first phone call is at midnight, the second at 8am, bawling as they try to get ready for class. They don't understand, maybe it was rigged? I explain the best I can and remind them that we are here, we are ok, they will be ok, as I was told to do. I keep a steady presence, and tell them to talk to their friends, grieve together, never worry alone. There is power there, and sometimes you have to blow things up to create something beautiful. As artists, they can do that, but many of them are gay/trans/non-binary and afraid. And also it's 76 degrees in November and hello climate change. I also remind them of what Kamala said, and we won't win every time but that doesn't mean we don't keep fighting. Their generation is powerful and just a few years away from voting age. Let's not forget that. One step at a time, and as women we need to continue this fight for them.
One thing my son brought up at dinner last night was which of his friends would be able to vote in the next presidential election and which ones wouldn't. They had had a whole conversation about it, which I absolutely love. They cannot WAIT to vote.
I told my eight year old first thing Wednesday morning -- he has expressed that he wishes I gave him a little more time to wake up before I told him, but I anticipated him asking with a "did Harris win" framing and I just wanted to get ahead of that. We always try to deflect him from the personal "Trump is stupid and bad" stuff and to think more broadly about structural issues and who will be harmed, but then of course he goes to school and talks to his friends and comes home gleefully pointing out what it spells if you take the T off Trump. He was also upset because his teacher said something that he interpreted as being positive about Trump, though from how he described it, it was pretty clearly an attempt to keep the kids, many of whom are from immigrant families, from being scared, telling the kids that everything would be fine and institutions would protect them and no one wants to hurt them. I don't necessarily think that's true, but we did try to get him to understand that she was not trying to persuade him to like Trump.
He also asked if we know any Republicans, and I reminded him that one of my husband's cousins, who he adores, is a Republican. He disbelievingly asked if Uncle A liked Trump and I said that I believed he did, and I think he's really wrong and I disagree with him on a lot of stuff but he is such a kind person, I have to believe that he has not fully thought through how Trump wants to hurt people. I used the example I read on Bluesky from, I think, a reporter who had spoken to some migrants who said that if they could vote they would want to vote for Trump -- people who are exactly who he is saying he will round up and deport, but I guess they figured since they're hard-working, he didn't mean them. So I said I thought Uncle A has a lot of ideas about how things should go and he doesn't always think about the consequences he doesn't intend and the people who will be hurt who he didn't want to be hurt. Really trying to balance a concrete sense of how I think he's wrong with the fact that we do love him and he is extraordinarily kind in his personal life. (Also, for what it's worth, Uncle A is a bearded brown guy who lives in Texas so while I don't *think* the Trump deportation sweeps are going to be hitting US-born MBAs, I actually do worry about him a little.)
Anyway, an ongoing discussion. It's clearly very much on his mind, and he's asked a few times how old he'll be when Trump is out of office.
My family live on the outer edge of a very blue area in an increasingly (and now almost completely) red state. My kids went to campaign events with me for many of the Democrats running for state-wide office and we walked in the Homecoming parade for some of our candidates and passed out candy. They saw me going to knock doors and work hard to help elect the people who represented my values. So it was very hard to tell them that, not only did Kamala not win, but all of the people we worked so hard to elect also lost (sometimes to people who have questionable track records/ethical violations themselves). We talked about how people vote for the people that they think will do the best job in office for their families, and that sometimes we don't agree on what that looks like but that does not mean that people are bad. There were a lot of kids at school who were very happy that Trump won, and that was pretty hard for my kids to hear. That led to a conversation about the importance of staying true to what we believe in: kindness, doing what's right for the vulnerable, and education.
Thank you. I love this: "We talked about how people vote for the people that they think will do the best job in office for their families, and that sometimes we don't agree on what that looks like but that does not mean that people are bad."
I have a 2 year old, so while I did tell him that Kamala lost and that I was sad, that mostly resulted in him asking “Where’s Kamala?” every 20 minutes last night. I do have to say that it gives me so much hope to read about the meaningful conversations you all are having with your kids who are old enough to understand and ask questions. The results have me worrying about how to raise a son in this world that wants him to care about his own self interest above others and how we can emphasize caring for others and supporting our community. This has helped me feel a little bit better that it’s possible and other people are doing it right now (and, of course, Melinda, your whole message gives me hope about that as well!)
Oh my gosh I love 2-year-olds....the fact that he kept asking where Kamala is after you told him she lost is amazing (though it was probably hard to deal with in the moment!!!). I'm glad you're finding this community helpful!!
Hi Melinda. Thanks for your lovely, helpful work this week and every week. I just wrote about talking to kids about the election tonight in my own newsletter, The Auntie Bulletin -- a newsletter about kinship and community for people who choose to help raise other people's kids. So it's coming from the angle of what supportive non-parental adults can do and say to help the kids in our lives through this time. (In my post, I referenced your previous post where you rounded up advice from child psychologists).
I also wrote: "One way to show that you take the kids in your life seriously is to engage with their ideas in kind. When they share how they’re feeling about the election outcome, you can share your feelings, too. Make your contributions shorter and simpler for little kids, and feel free to introduce some complexity for the older ones. When they answer your questions about what they think will happen, you can share what you think will happen, too – both what you feel worried about, and what gives you hope. For me, it’s often kids themselves that bring me the most hope. They’re often so wise, and so loving, and so brave."
My hat is off to all you parents who are doing the hard work helping kids through this time, every minute of every day (whereas we Aunties get a lot of breaks). Thank you so much for all that you do.
I did talk to my 5 year old daughter yesterday morning- I had barely pulled myself together 10 minutes before, so she could tell I had been crying. I said to her, “You know how you talked about the election at school yesterday?” She nodded yes. And I said, “Mommy and Daddy disagreed about who we thought the best person for the job of President was, so he voted for Donald Trump, and Mommy voted for Kamala. I am sad today because Kamala lost, and I don’t think that Daddy is right that Trump will be a good President, but we both love each other, and we love you, so I am just sad today.”
She didn’t really say anything, she just hugged me, and when we got in the car she said, “I think we should listen to Taylor Swift since that makes us happy!” And I turned on our CD with the Red bonus tracks.
This was a lovely way to frame your conflict - thank you for sharing.
My 9 yr old asked over dinner who won the election. She was upset when I told her. I went on to explain what Kamala said in her concession speech, why Mommy and Daddy were so sad over the results, why we voted the way we did, what the candidates' messages were, etc. I think I went too far at times by sharing that close family members, notably my parents, voted for him and that hurts me even more. My 6 yr old started crying once I got going with my tears and he said he didn't understand how, "he can do those crimes and then be president." Ultimately I'm glad we had the talk we did, bc we touched upon a variety of issues and I felt like they were really considering our words and why we have the passion we do for getting our voices heard.
Ah your 9yo is wise indeed....
Anne, I just wanted to say that I don't think it's too far to share that close family members voted for him. I had the same conversation with my 8 year old. I thought it was important to help him not demonize Trump voters and to understand the complexities involved. My dad and much of his family (including a favorite aunt which has hurt the most) are Trump supporters. Meanwhile, my Mom is horrified by Trump and my dad's support of him. So she's grieving, my husband and I are grieving, and so many others are as well. I wanted to - gently - introduce that to my son. We are talking about how you respond to others - classmates, family members, etc. - in ways that are respectful but also strongly demonstrate your values and opinions. I am here in the comments to get more ideas about how to do that though because I struggle with it!
Thank you for sharing! I believe my approach in telling my kids who voted for him was more aggressive than I'd like, upon reflection, given how raw my emotions were at the time. My relationship with my father has been fraught for most of my life, so therein lies an extra sensitive trigger for me already. I, too, have been reading others' experiences in attempt to learn from and grow.
My 6yo told me in the car yesterday evening that he is scared for Australia because grandma said that Trump wants to make friends with Russia (we aren’t American/don’t even live in America and my kids are impacted by this whole thing). We had an extensive conversation about democracy and politicians and Russia and voting to try to make things better for everyone and how things are complicated. My 4yo suggested violence because that’s currently his default answer to everything. In the end we talked about DOING things (not violent things) instead of just sitting being scared. I was initially pretty annoyed at grandma for freaking him out, but it turned out to be a good, if exhausting conversation.
He still says he’s scared though, and while I’m not sure I’m scared for the same reasons, I can’t honestly tell him that fear isn’t an appropriate response.
Thank you for sharing. I hate that you have to be afraid of Trump and what he might do, all the way across the world.
I talked to both my kids yesterday morning- my husband talked to our almost 8 yo first and then he came to find me already doom scrolling at 6 am to confirm it was true that Trump won. He saw me scroll past a story where it said America fucked up and he said yes they did! But I thought your post from a few days ago helped. I was crying when we talked but we were in the dark and I had my arm around him- I said people probably felt desperate for a change and they didn’t trust Kamala to make their lives better. I told him I was disappointed but daddy and I would do everything we could to keep him and his brother safe.
About 20 minutes later all 3 of us got my youngest up. He asked what happened and husband sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his hair and said Trump won. And he asked why and we repeated the same things. We told them it was our job to keep them safe and reminded them he doesn’t become president for another couple months. We got ready for school and my oldest asked if we could listen to Down Bad in the car. I said fine and sang loudly along to it.
My MIL is supposed to volunteer on Wednesdays in kindergarten. Apparently she couldn’t stay with the little kids with their happy faces and started crying- she told me my 5 yo gave her a hug and said he would see her later when she said she couldn’t stay. She still went to her hair appointment with her family friend and my kids talked to her after school about how they didn’t like Trump and people had mentioned him on the bus.
I missed the live concession speech but started watching it during my oldest’ piano lesson. He only saw the part about young people and the sky full of stars. I said her words reminded me of the song from Sing 2 and we listened to that together. I went to book club last night and I don’t know if they mentioned anything else with my husband. Because I slept so poorly the night before I was still home to say good night to them but only kissed them and said I loved them.
We are leaving on our anniversary trip tomorrow so this morning my kids woke up and said- Nana and Pop come tonight! I don’t know what else I will say in the coming days. I haven’t cried in about 12 hours now so maybe I’ve moved out of my sobbing phase but we will see.
I watched the concession speech and started crying a little again, but I think my sobbing phase is over for now. I do appreciate Armando saying he is always willing to be there for me to talk to at work. It does mean a lot to have a director who treats me as both a good employee and close friend.
Sounds like you handled these conversations beautifully. I hope that you can enjoy your anniversary trip!!
We've leaned a lot into what we can still do, ourselves, to make our own community and the world a better place. Mine are 7 and 9 and we've done a lot with the food bank because they understand the need for food (and because it's something we grownups feel strongly about, too) and we talked about how we'll still do that and still be making a difference.
This is so great. I think it's so helpful for kids to see that they have the power to do good in the world.
My kids are pretty little - one 4.5yo and a 9 day old baby - so neither of them are directly following electoral politics. But my 4.5yo did see me kind of collapse sobbing into my husband yesterday morning, yay breastfeeding hormones and sleep deprivation.
Thankfully my husband took point because I was not able to answer without more bawling. He said something like “this mean person is the leader of the whole country now, and we were hoping that wouldn’t happen. We’re sad and scared” and something about how we would keep her and baby bro safe.
We’ve really leaned into “mean” to describe Trump, rather than “bad”. “Mean” is a behavior choice rather than inherent personal quality, and it’s one the pre-k set definitely understands. And it’s true! He is mean.
We did not talk about her beloved grandmother, a WI Trump voter who was in town for one more day, but goddamn it sticks in my craw. But we’ll definitely out Grandma when our daughter is a little older. My husband had so many real, vulnerable talks with her asking that she just leave the presidential race blank if she couldn’t bring herself to do more. But I know she voted for that mean person for a third time.
I appreciate your word choices -- emphasizing behavior and choices rather than character. I'm sorry about grandma!!!! That's so hard.
It really is. She has lots of genuinely wonderful, caring qualities, but when you spend enough time with her you can really see the paranoid, resentful streak that suffuses so much right wing and evangelical politics (which she is). Eg, she stayed as long as she did because I had an incredibly difficult complex c section (finally learned how to spell hemorrhage because I’ve typed it so much now). The primary surgeon did a loooong and really good debrief with me during her rounds a few days later. MIL immediately assumed this meant they made some kind of mistake and were worried about being sued. No possibility the doctor knows I left half my blood on the OR floor and feels human compassion for me. 🙄
It has always been so foreign to me bc that’s not the Jesus I was raised with. But then again, I was raised Catholic, which they barely think counts, and in a “liberation theology” Catholic tradition, which *definitely* doesn’t.
My 7 year old son is upset and scared. He asked if we would need to board up the windows when we told him Trump won. I told him he is safe and that the big change is not that I’m scared (I am though) but that we have a lot of work to do. I said we have to help our community so much more now because a lot of the help in our country is going to go away. I said we all have each other and that is where we need to focus. We talked about ways we can help. I don’t feel great about the conversation but I tried.
After school yesterday he told me that he and his friends talked about the election but had to stop because some kids were scared. I asked for more information and he said that they talked about how maybe Trump will die of an ear infection from the gunshot or maybe someone would kill him. He said another boy said Trump only listens to white men and a lot of his class is Black and Brown and they got really scared so they all decided to stop talking and play. And play! He’s in second grade and my heart is shattered for these kids.
Oh- and my 4 year old daughter was listening and said “ugh I hate da boys I only like little boys and I’ll kill that bad man”. A lot to unpack there but I just said we won’t use violence or something hallow.
“they all decided to stop talking and play”
I am so scared for all of these kids but this is so perfect really. It’s the kid version of “don’t agonize, organize!”
Yeah! And play is such a stress reliever for kids -- I love that they recognized what would help them cope and leaned into it.
This is the first time we are early empty nesters, as our 16 year-old is at an arts boarding school. The first phone call is at midnight, the second at 8am, bawling as they try to get ready for class. They don't understand, maybe it was rigged? I explain the best I can and remind them that we are here, we are ok, they will be ok, as I was told to do. I keep a steady presence, and tell them to talk to their friends, grieve together, never worry alone. There is power there, and sometimes you have to blow things up to create something beautiful. As artists, they can do that, but many of them are gay/trans/non-binary and afraid. And also it's 76 degrees in November and hello climate change. I also remind them of what Kamala said, and we won't win every time but that doesn't mean we don't keep fighting. Their generation is powerful and just a few years away from voting age. Let's not forget that. One step at a time, and as women we need to continue this fight for them.
One thing my son brought up at dinner last night was which of his friends would be able to vote in the next presidential election and which ones wouldn't. They had had a whole conversation about it, which I absolutely love. They cannot WAIT to vote.
“never worry alone”
Oooh, I love this! I’m up in the night by myself a lot atm (see 9-day-old above) and the problem is real.
I told my eight year old first thing Wednesday morning -- he has expressed that he wishes I gave him a little more time to wake up before I told him, but I anticipated him asking with a "did Harris win" framing and I just wanted to get ahead of that. We always try to deflect him from the personal "Trump is stupid and bad" stuff and to think more broadly about structural issues and who will be harmed, but then of course he goes to school and talks to his friends and comes home gleefully pointing out what it spells if you take the T off Trump. He was also upset because his teacher said something that he interpreted as being positive about Trump, though from how he described it, it was pretty clearly an attempt to keep the kids, many of whom are from immigrant families, from being scared, telling the kids that everything would be fine and institutions would protect them and no one wants to hurt them. I don't necessarily think that's true, but we did try to get him to understand that she was not trying to persuade him to like Trump.
He also asked if we know any Republicans, and I reminded him that one of my husband's cousins, who he adores, is a Republican. He disbelievingly asked if Uncle A liked Trump and I said that I believed he did, and I think he's really wrong and I disagree with him on a lot of stuff but he is such a kind person, I have to believe that he has not fully thought through how Trump wants to hurt people. I used the example I read on Bluesky from, I think, a reporter who had spoken to some migrants who said that if they could vote they would want to vote for Trump -- people who are exactly who he is saying he will round up and deport, but I guess they figured since they're hard-working, he didn't mean them. So I said I thought Uncle A has a lot of ideas about how things should go and he doesn't always think about the consequences he doesn't intend and the people who will be hurt who he didn't want to be hurt. Really trying to balance a concrete sense of how I think he's wrong with the fact that we do love him and he is extraordinarily kind in his personal life. (Also, for what it's worth, Uncle A is a bearded brown guy who lives in Texas so while I don't *think* the Trump deportation sweeps are going to be hitting US-born MBAs, I actually do worry about him a little.)
Anyway, an ongoing discussion. It's clearly very much on his mind, and he's asked a few times how old he'll be when Trump is out of office.
I love all the nuance you included in your conversations with your son. Thank you for sharing!
My family live on the outer edge of a very blue area in an increasingly (and now almost completely) red state. My kids went to campaign events with me for many of the Democrats running for state-wide office and we walked in the Homecoming parade for some of our candidates and passed out candy. They saw me going to knock doors and work hard to help elect the people who represented my values. So it was very hard to tell them that, not only did Kamala not win, but all of the people we worked so hard to elect also lost (sometimes to people who have questionable track records/ethical violations themselves). We talked about how people vote for the people that they think will do the best job in office for their families, and that sometimes we don't agree on what that looks like but that does not mean that people are bad. There were a lot of kids at school who were very happy that Trump won, and that was pretty hard for my kids to hear. That led to a conversation about the importance of staying true to what we believe in: kindness, doing what's right for the vulnerable, and education.
Thank you. I love this: "We talked about how people vote for the people that they think will do the best job in office for their families, and that sometimes we don't agree on what that looks like but that does not mean that people are bad."
I have a 2 year old, so while I did tell him that Kamala lost and that I was sad, that mostly resulted in him asking “Where’s Kamala?” every 20 minutes last night. I do have to say that it gives me so much hope to read about the meaningful conversations you all are having with your kids who are old enough to understand and ask questions. The results have me worrying about how to raise a son in this world that wants him to care about his own self interest above others and how we can emphasize caring for others and supporting our community. This has helped me feel a little bit better that it’s possible and other people are doing it right now (and, of course, Melinda, your whole message gives me hope about that as well!)
Oh my gosh I love 2-year-olds....the fact that he kept asking where Kamala is after you told him she lost is amazing (though it was probably hard to deal with in the moment!!!). I'm glad you're finding this community helpful!!
Hi Melinda. Thanks for your lovely, helpful work this week and every week. I just wrote about talking to kids about the election tonight in my own newsletter, The Auntie Bulletin -- a newsletter about kinship and community for people who choose to help raise other people's kids. So it's coming from the angle of what supportive non-parental adults can do and say to help the kids in our lives through this time. (In my post, I referenced your previous post where you rounded up advice from child psychologists).
I also wrote: "One way to show that you take the kids in your life seriously is to engage with their ideas in kind. When they share how they’re feeling about the election outcome, you can share your feelings, too. Make your contributions shorter and simpler for little kids, and feel free to introduce some complexity for the older ones. When they answer your questions about what they think will happen, you can share what you think will happen, too – both what you feel worried about, and what gives you hope. For me, it’s often kids themselves that bring me the most hope. They’re often so wise, and so loving, and so brave."
My hat is off to all you parents who are doing the hard work helping kids through this time, every minute of every day (whereas we Aunties get a lot of breaks). Thank you so much for all that you do.
In case anyone wants to check out my newsletter, or send the Aunties, grandparents, and so on in our life my way, here's the latest post (the one I just quoted from, hot off the presses): https://theauntie.substack.com/p/what-worried-kids-need-to-hear?r=nbcpy