Everything You Need to Know About Executive Function

A Q&A with academic advisor Ana Homayoun.

Today I’m so excited to be running a Q&A with academic advisor and counselor

Ana Homayoun

, the author of a handful of books for parents and educators including Erasing the Finish Line: The New Blueprint for Success Beyond Grades and College Admission and That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life.

Ana Homayoun

Ana’s work has focused on many important aspects related to raising kids, but our Q&A today is focused specifically on what parents can do to nurture kids’ executive functioning skills.

What are those, you ask? Well, as you’ll see, I asked Ana that very question, too — but essentially, they are the cognitive skills that help kids (and adults) plan, focus on tasks, and meet goals. They’re crucial skills, but often slow to develop, which is why my 7th grader forgot he had a Spanish test yesterday until right before he went to bed on Sunday night. The good news is that there are many things parents can do to help foster these skills in kids — Ana has some amazing insights to share.

I highly recommend you check out Ana’s books, and I’m also thrilled that I’ll be giving away the two books I mentioned above by Ana as part of my February book giveaway. And congratulations to Lauren Smith in Sydney (yes, Australia!) who won my January giveaway!!!

Without further ado, here’s my conversation with Ana.

Ana, first things first: What is executive function?

“Executive function” describes the abilities we need to focus on, concentrate on and complete tasks effectively and efficiently — tasks that are not automatic, but require real attention. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child says “the phrase executive function refers to a set of skills [that] underlie the capacity to plan ahead and meet goals, display self-control, follow multiple-step directions even when interrupted, and stay focused despite distractions, among others.”

I’ve spent over two decades working with middle school, high school and college students on developing strategies to succeed first in an academic setting and later in the workplace. When I meet with students, I start with evaluating their foundational skills, including their ability to organize, plan, prioritize, start and complete tasks, and be adaptable when something doesn’t go as planned.

Helping students and young adults develop these skills became my life’s work a bit by accident, and it keeps me energized to see the monumental impact that such steps have on the academic confidence and personal well-being of students across tens of thousands of miles. For my latest book, Erasing the Finish Line: The New Blueprint for Success Beyond Grades and College Admission, I went back and interviewed students I worked with 15+ years ago, to see how building these skills at a pivotal moment in their lives has impacted their career trajectory and overall well-being.

How and when do these skills develop in kids?

Executive function skills begin to develop shortly after birth, with a sharp increase from ages 3 to 5, and continue through adolescence and early adulthood. Think about a child being able to tell a story with a clear beginning, middle and end, or being able to connect something they learned previously with new information. It’s important to remember that development of these skills is a process. The prefrontal cortex, which isn’t fully developed until our early 20s (and potentially later for boys), plays a crucial role in these changes.

Kindergarten and elementary school often allow for some structured support in building these skills. But I’ve long argued that beginning in middle school, this all tends to fall apart. I wrote about this in my first book, That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: When kids reach middle school, we often wrongly assume that they can figure out their own system for succeeding using executive functioning skills, but we don’t realize that where students are in terms of brain development and emotional maturity often doesn’t match what we’re asking them to do.

A typical middle school experience asks students to juggle multiple classes, short and long-term assignments, athletic endeavors, extracurricular activities, social dynamics and family obligations, all while going through puberty and navigating different technological requirements.

Most parents and caregivers become frustrated when their middle or high school student struggles to organize, plan, prioritize, start and complete tasks, and manage distractions while trying to navigate changing social dynamics and related emotions. We know that our executive function skills are impacted by stress and sleep, which is why things might seem to take longer or be more difficult to complete when we’re experiencing high levels of stress, and/or are sleep deprived (this is true for kids as well as adults!).

The problem is that many students who struggle with these skills start to lose confidence in their intellectual abilities and overall capabilities, and this can destroy their sense of self-worth and overall well-being.

We’ve seen the research on how young men are not going to college at the same rates as girls and how men are struggling in the workforce. When a college administrator once cited related such statistics to me, I replied, “I know why and it starts long before college. I work with middle school boys — have you looked at some of their backpacks?”

Providing time, structure and support makes a difference in developing these skills. When students are effectively supported in developing executive functioning skills, they feel autonomy and self-competence, which builds their confidence.

So parenting clearly makes a difference in terms of how and when these skills take hold. What other kinds of factors shape how they develop?

Studies have shown that chronic levels of stress — as evidenced through a high number of adverse childhood experiences — correlates with delayed development of executive functioning skills. Our executive functions are affected by our mood, sleep and daily routines, and by destabilizing events such as the pandemic, which introduced greater uncertainty into our lives.

Most adults can think of times in our lives when extreme stress, feeling overwhelmed or burnout — which you wrote about recently — can make it feel as though even the smallest of tasks are difficult to complete. The same can be true for kids.

Adele Diamond, a professor of neuroscience at the University of British Columbia, runs a lab that specializes in studying the region of the brain called the prefrontal cortex and these cognitive abilities, which depend on it. She directs much of her research to how children’s development of these skills can be impacted by biological or environmental factors, such as poverty or stress.

Protective factors include supportive relationships, strong parental modeling and consistent and reliable routines involving both movement and rest. I’ve found that ways to provide nonjudgmental time, structure and support — like initiating daily/weekly routines and habits that support students in building their skills without adults criticizing or harping on the inevitable fallbacks — are the most effective. For instance, we’ve had so many students whose families introduced daily/weekly routines around work and rest that kids might have begrudgingly followed in the beginning but ended up admitting are incredibly helpful. Some examples include designated homework time in family spaces like the kitchen or dining room, having devices off at a certain hour, creating a designated weekly regroup time on Sundays where everyone cleans out backpacks and desktops and becomes organized for the week.

Another factor that can be incredibly useful is making sure your child has trusted adults beyond parents and caregivers who can provide support and motivation. I often encourage parents and caregivers to focus on their primary relationship, and to recognize that outside support — especially when they themselves may struggle with similar skills, or when their involvement can cause a high level of conflict — allows the student to progress while maintaining the parent/child relationship.

What are some signs that kids may be struggling with executive function?

Executive dysfunction can manifest in many different ways — and it’s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

One of most obvious signs is a lack of physical organization — papers are strewn about, crumpled and shoved into random pockets, with no discernible system. Other signs may be less immediately evident. For example, the high-performing student who struggles with time management and stays up late into the evenings scrambling on assignments they’ve procrastinated on for weeks. Executive dysfunction can involve hyper-focusing on one thing (usually not the most urgent or important task); struggling with transitions; having a hard time starting difficult, boring, or mundane tasks; and/or difficulty regulating emotions.

Students with neurodiversity, who have different ways of learning, thinking, processing, and behaving, often find that it can take longer — and require more energy— to go through the day and complete what may seem like basic tasks to other individuals. Research has shown a strong relationship between ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) and executive function deficits: Children and adults with ADHD are highly likely to struggle with emotional self-regulation, inhibitory ability and working memory. It’s important to remember that executive functions can be taught — and that progress can feel slow and incremental. I’ve seen how transformative the results can be as students build predictable routines that become second nature, freeing up their time and energy and allowing them to focus on completing the actual work and pursuing their interests with confidence. The ripple effects are endless.

You mentioned the importance of helping kids build predictable routines. How do we do that? And what else can we do to support the development of these skills?

It is important to remember that executive dysfunction can be largely misunderstood by those who don’t experience it. A person can be capable in so many ways and all of that can go out the window when they don’t have the tools, structure and self-compassion to support situational or chronic executive dysfunction. I’ve seen so many parents and educators be flustered, angry and annoyed with kids — kids are stressed too, and even more so when they feel others are disappointed in them. Attitude and approach make a huge difference, and oftentimes, additional structure and support are necessary. It’s better to provide interventions upfront whenever possible, before the brain becomes dysregulated.

One of the crucial steps in developing a solid system is building predictable routines — especially at transition points in the day, students benefit from having consistent rituals from getting themselves up in the morning to winding down at night. At home, this can mean starting a routine of weekly Sunday dinners with the family, and asking teens to pause and reflect on their week — What is one theme or mantra they have for themselves? What is one thing they’d like to do differently? This process of reflection should also prompt a physical regrouping—where students can put their materials in order and focus on their underlying system of organization rather than rushing from one activity or task to the next.

Parental and caregiver modeling is also key, particularly when it comes to mono-tasking. Students today are faced with so many demands on their attention, social media and technology being just one of many. It can be tempting to multitask and take shortcuts in hopes of increasing efficiency — for instance, texting or scrolling on social media while scrambling on a homework. Research shows that this subtle switching has a cost — especially when it comes to complex tasks. In their daily routine, students benefit from designated times where they can be fully present — for example, at the dinner table with phones off or winding down with a book before bed.

I’ve heard that perfectionism is related to executive function. Can you explain how?

We might initially think of perfectionists as type A, highly competitive, meticulously organized overachievers, but, really, our culture of perfectionism affects nearly all of us in insidious ways. We are barraged with social media posts and advertisements that promote idyllic pictures of what true “self-acceptance” and “self-love” look and feel like, deluding us into thinking that perfection, as defined by our accomplishments, is our North Star. When we’re in constant pursuit of “becoming [good] enough,” we live in an amplified state of stress, burnout, fear and shame that we should be doing more, and doing better, all the time.

Perfectionism has been increasingly linked to procrastination, emotional dysregulation, and depressive symptoms. In my work with students, I’ve seen how perfectionist tendencies can lead to a lack of acceptance of our own unique energy levels, learning styles and needs, which can all contribute to greater feelings of being overwhelmed and difficulties with executive function. When we’re unable to address present challenges, planning and organization can feel like herculean tasks, and emotions can quickly become derailing and all-encompassing. Time and time again, I’ve seen how this combination leads to paralysis and impacts feelings of self-efficacy for students.

You mentioned interviewing students you’d worked with 15+ years ago for your book Erasing the Finish Line. How were they doing? What did you learn?

One of the most surprising and rewarding parts of going back to interview my students from years ago is seeing how much of the daily habits and routines that helped them succeed was related to work they put in place as middle school, high school and college students. I remember going through 700 pieces of paper with one student, thinking about how we could help him build a system that would support his progress. Today, he’s one of the many who struggled as a child and teenager, and is thriving as an adult using a lot of those same techniques.

Given my work with students and families over the past two decades, I believe we underestimate the link between executive functioning skills and social and emotional well-being. It feels good to be organized, to be able to feel as though you have a plan and can handle tasks in front of you. These are critical skills that need to be enhanced with empathy and without being judged. When we do so, the ripple effects are endless.