Three Things To Do When Your Kid Screws Up

a.k.a. what got me through the second week of school.

This is my kids’ second week of school, and as is always the case, we’ve had some rough moments.

Late last week, for instance, my 12-year-old told me that his science teacher had handed out a sheet in class for parents to sign — but when he looked for it in his backpack, he couldn’t find it. On Monday, he forgot the sheet in his locker again. Then, yesterday, as he was heading to school, he couldn’t find his math homework. This one really rattled him — he was worried his math teacher would get mad, and I think he was frustrated that it was the third instance in a week in which he’d messed up his assignments.

I’ll admit, at first, I found all this rather frustrating. My son is in 7th grade — shouldn’t he be able to keep track of his homework by now? What was wrong with him? Argh!

Of course, though these kinds of reactions are completely natural, they aren’t particularly helpful. So after years of immersing myself in the science of resilience, growth mindset, and problem-solving, I’ve come up with an approach that helps me, as a parent, shift the narrative. Here are the three key steps I take when my kids make frustrating blunders (of any kind!) — and why and how they help.