This was helpful- the meltdowns are already starting, and it’s only December 5! I am interested to see how things go this month. Our plans up to Christmas are already pretty set, and I always prep my 4 year old daughter at least a few days before we do anything (we’re seeing The Nutcracker on Saturday so we’ve been talking about that for a couple days already). The weekend of the 15th I will be out of town on a girls’ trip with my sister and our sister from another mother (our close friend Patty who was my sister’s roommate in college so we have been friends for 17 years), so I have started letting her know about mommy being out of town and Daddy will be here to take care of her. My husband is perfectly competent at caring for her on the weekend and he knows her routine well, but it’s always hard for me because I am the one who does the majority of the care tasks and letting go of the reins for a weekend is hard for me to do even though it’s necessary! We are celebrating with my grandparents a bit early this year too so I need to be done shopping before our trip so we are ready by the 23rd.
I love this reminder so much! I've been anxious about holiday travel, which my kid has undoubtedly felt, but I haven't actually talked about what's coming and how it'll change our routine. A whole cluster of things!
Just this morning, too, I realized that while I think of seasonal affective disorder/general low-light malaise as an adult thing, my kid is dealing with it as well. It's not the reason for, say, shoving his head in his pajama pants and trying to wiggle himself under the couch when it's time to go to school, but it might be contributing to our mutually-bizarre responses to the situation.
Hey Melinda, I forwarded your 2017 Slate article about trampolines to a friend last night. (A perennial favorite! I promise I'm fun at parties.) I was thinking about the other outdoorsy physical activities that the AAP recommends against and I'd love to hear your take on them. As far as I know, as a highly-informed parent but not a medical professional, the AAP's entire naughty list is: trampolines, ATVs, electric scooters, and playing outdoors in lightning storms. Things that do not have a blanket "no" recommendation include: tackle football, swimming, sport shooting, skiing. The risk/benefit analysis in these two categories doesn't feel consistent in my gut but we all know about humans' faulty risk-meters.
I recognize this is terrible timing considering your burnout-related posts recently - of course it can wait. Thank you for being one of my trusted parenting advice sources this year.
Ah that's so interesting. It can be hard to get accurate injury data for specific activities so I'm not sure what I'd be able to come up with, but I agree that some of those choices are raising questions in my brain! Thanks for bringing it to my attention!
Communicating expectations for individual events is important. I try to remind myself that my kids still haven’t participated in that many holiday seasons yet and they need reminders and structure. Our county has less than 2 weeks off school this year but at least we won’t have long off our normal routine.
Wait, don’t yell at them that they are making a scene?! I’ve got that one down :) These are all very helpful reminders. I am going to try to do more expectation setting with my 7 yo. Now with the 3 yo it’s a different challenge altogether! Just trying to get him not to pee all over the floor is enough to tackle right now. (For another time - why is potty training so terrible?)
Melinda, thank you for sharing all of this. I found myself wanting to hear more about your sensory child’s evolution over the years with managing frustration/discomfort and self-advocating during moments of sensory overwhelm. It feels like Oct-Jan is my son’s own personal hurricane season and I feel so deeply for him (he’s 4). I’m obviously leaning on every teacher tool I have, and further diving into the literature on sensory processing that, unfortunately, educators are not often required to read in school. But I am also really interested in what you’ve found helpful yourself, in research and in practice as a parent, if you’ve written elsewhere on this.
This was helpful- the meltdowns are already starting, and it’s only December 5! I am interested to see how things go this month. Our plans up to Christmas are already pretty set, and I always prep my 4 year old daughter at least a few days before we do anything (we’re seeing The Nutcracker on Saturday so we’ve been talking about that for a couple days already). The weekend of the 15th I will be out of town on a girls’ trip with my sister and our sister from another mother (our close friend Patty who was my sister’s roommate in college so we have been friends for 17 years), so I have started letting her know about mommy being out of town and Daddy will be here to take care of her. My husband is perfectly competent at caring for her on the weekend and he knows her routine well, but it’s always hard for me because I am the one who does the majority of the care tasks and letting go of the reins for a weekend is hard for me to do even though it’s necessary! We are celebrating with my grandparents a bit early this year too so I need to be done shopping before our trip so we are ready by the 23rd.
I love this reminder so much! I've been anxious about holiday travel, which my kid has undoubtedly felt, but I haven't actually talked about what's coming and how it'll change our routine. A whole cluster of things!
Just this morning, too, I realized that while I think of seasonal affective disorder/general low-light malaise as an adult thing, my kid is dealing with it as well. It's not the reason for, say, shoving his head in his pajama pants and trying to wiggle himself under the couch when it's time to go to school, but it might be contributing to our mutually-bizarre responses to the situation.
Hey Melinda, I forwarded your 2017 Slate article about trampolines to a friend last night. (A perennial favorite! I promise I'm fun at parties.) I was thinking about the other outdoorsy physical activities that the AAP recommends against and I'd love to hear your take on them. As far as I know, as a highly-informed parent but not a medical professional, the AAP's entire naughty list is: trampolines, ATVs, electric scooters, and playing outdoors in lightning storms. Things that do not have a blanket "no" recommendation include: tackle football, swimming, sport shooting, skiing. The risk/benefit analysis in these two categories doesn't feel consistent in my gut but we all know about humans' faulty risk-meters.
I recognize this is terrible timing considering your burnout-related posts recently - of course it can wait. Thank you for being one of my trusted parenting advice sources this year.
Ah that's so interesting. It can be hard to get accurate injury data for specific activities so I'm not sure what I'd be able to come up with, but I agree that some of those choices are raising questions in my brain! Thanks for bringing it to my attention!
Communicating expectations for individual events is important. I try to remind myself that my kids still haven’t participated in that many holiday seasons yet and they need reminders and structure. Our county has less than 2 weeks off school this year but at least we won’t have long off our normal routine.
Wait, don’t yell at them that they are making a scene?! I’ve got that one down :) These are all very helpful reminders. I am going to try to do more expectation setting with my 7 yo. Now with the 3 yo it’s a different challenge altogether! Just trying to get him not to pee all over the floor is enough to tackle right now. (For another time - why is potty training so terrible?)
Melinda, thank you for sharing all of this. I found myself wanting to hear more about your sensory child’s evolution over the years with managing frustration/discomfort and self-advocating during moments of sensory overwhelm. It feels like Oct-Jan is my son’s own personal hurricane season and I feel so deeply for him (he’s 4). I’m obviously leaning on every teacher tool I have, and further diving into the literature on sensory processing that, unfortunately, educators are not often required to read in school. But I am also really interested in what you’ve found helpful yourself, in research and in practice as a parent, if you’ve written elsewhere on this.