This is a great interview! Ties in so well into the last newsletter I got to be a part of about some parenting methods not working for neurodivergent kids! I love that Cara emphasizes that even the best methods can't work for every single human.
I read pieces of the original RIE manual by Magda Gerber and it feels like she's working out her own childhood trauma and anger at her parents through this parenting method. She tells parents-
"Ask yourself what your baby means to you:
A plaything with whom you can play dollhouse?
A helpless creature who makes you feel omnipotent?
A puppet you can make dance to your tune?
A love object who gives you sensuous pleasure?
A pet who wags his tail when you praise him?
An extension of yourself who will fulfill your thwarted goals in life? "
Yikes on several bikes. All the other points you made in this about the lack of research backing RIE and volumes of peer reviewed studies on child development around the world that disprove the recommendations against things like comforting your child physically when they cry... It's terrible that we know what happens to kids who aren't comforted and receive little to know physical contact, but there are countless stories about children in Romanian orphanages who were left to cry and weren't comforted physically at all or very rarely. It's not good.
Thank you -- this really validated my experience.
This is a great interview! Ties in so well into the last newsletter I got to be a part of about some parenting methods not working for neurodivergent kids! I love that Cara emphasizes that even the best methods can't work for every single human.
Thank you so much! I also enjoyed your interview!
So glad to hear!
I read pieces of the original RIE manual by Magda Gerber and it feels like she's working out her own childhood trauma and anger at her parents through this parenting method. She tells parents-
"Ask yourself what your baby means to you:
A plaything with whom you can play dollhouse?
A helpless creature who makes you feel omnipotent?
A puppet you can make dance to your tune?
A love object who gives you sensuous pleasure?
A pet who wags his tail when you praise him?
An extension of yourself who will fulfill your thwarted goals in life? "
Yikes on several bikes. All the other points you made in this about the lack of research backing RIE and volumes of peer reviewed studies on child development around the world that disprove the recommendations against things like comforting your child physically when they cry... It's terrible that we know what happens to kids who aren't comforted and receive little to know physical contact, but there are countless stories about children in Romanian orphanages who were left to cry and weren't comforted physically at all or very rarely. It's not good.