This is 46
It's been a year, and I'm so grateful to you.
Today’s my 46th birthday, which is a little terrifying because 46 sounds very old. Also, I think I have aged a good decade over the past year. I went straight from a major a house renovation into the dissolution of my marriage, without a breath in between, and it has been …. exhausting and challenging, to say the least. But as they often say (haha *I* often say), tough moments can build strength and resilience, as long as you are surrounded by love. You all have been here supporting me throughout my tumultuous 46th year, and just want to say: thank you.
I don’t have a long, thought-out essay for you today (and also, yes, my newsletter is a few hours late, oops). I had a busy day yesterday involving a big New York Times deadline, a dentist appointment for my 13-year-old, and a cookie-baking adventure with my 10-year-old, and by the time I sat down to write this yesterday evening, I was wrecked. So I decided to let myself off the hook. I am almost done watching season 3 of Bridgerton (I know, I know; I’m very late to that party) and I realized I wanted to relax on the couch with Penelope Featherington instead of spending more time in front of my computer.
Past me would not have done this. Past me would have pushed through and worked. But slowly, I am learning that taking care of myself requires letting go — and letting myself have what I want, even when it’s not the studious, responsible thing to do. It helps that I now feel I know a lot of you, and I knew you’d understand.
This decision I made also involved disappointing one of my kids — something I absolutely hate doing. But I made myself do it anyway.