The Joy of Narrowly Avoiding Disaster
Plus my stomach bug prevention tips, because it's that time of year again.
On Wednesday, I was in a mood. You know those days when you’re filled with rage and even though you know it’s not really warranted (hi perimenopause!), you still can’t shake it?
Yeah. That was me. I was worried it was going to pervade the rest of the week and maybe the weekend, too.
Then, to put the icing on the cake, that night, my 10-year-old threw up. Which was funny, because I had just read a newsletter about how stomach bugs are nationally on the rise. And now, apparently, there was one in my house.
You probably don’t know this about me — or maybe you do — but stomach bugs are my biggest phobia. Well, phobia is a misnomer, because phobias are irrational. MY FEAR OF STOMACH BUGS IS NOT IRRATIONAL. Because when I get them, I get so sick. Once, when I had one, my ex told me he thought I was going to die. Bouts of vomiting and diarrhea at the same time, approximately every 4 minutes, for 12 hours straight. Truly the most horrible torture in the world, and I have been to the Park Slope Food Coop on a Sunday.
So when my daughter threw up on Wednesday, I saw my future. My kids are with their dad this weekend and I had been looking forward to a solo weekend hanging out with friends. But suddenly, I knew I was going to spend my weekend hanging out with my toilet.
Of course, I immediately came up with a plan to minimize my chances of getting sick, which I always do in this situation; I’ll get into those science-based strategies in a minute. But I wasn’t feeling hopeful. Now I actually had cause to feel the rage I’d been feeling all day. My week was essentially over.
But then, just as suddenly, my daughter said she felt fine. She started singing and did her homework. I made tacos for dinner and she ravenously consumed them.
HALLELUJAH! IT WAS A STOMACH BUG FALSE ALARM!
After that, ladies and gentlemen, I was in the best mood ever. I was literally flooded with euphoria. I was released from my certain, horrible fate as quickly as I’d been subjected to it. I’ve been in a wonderful mood ever since.
Isn’t it funny how that happens? Everything is relative. Life sometimes seems like it sucks until you have occasion to be reminded that actually, no, it could be a hell of a lot worse and involve hours of projectile vomiting. Sometimes we need these little scares to remind us of how we good we have it.
Still, the experience reminded me that, as a result of my phobia totally rational fear of stomach bugs, I have done a LOT of research on how to minimize their spread, including by interviewing CDC scientists. I thought it might be useful for me to share my wisdom here with you, in case a stomach bug makes an unwelcome visit to your house sometime soon.
Here are the five things I do when one of my family members brings a stomach bug home.