Talking to Kids About Climate Change

An interview with Anya Kamenetz.

My kids and I are heading to Florida today to visit my parents because they have a week-long Winter Break from school. I am very excited to see my parents — and can’t wait for some warm, snow-less weather.

A few days ago, though, my 12-year-old made an offhand comment about the fact that much of coastal Florida will soon be underwater because of climate change. He said it somewhat matter-of-factly, yet he adores his grandparents and their home, so there was a twinge of sadness in his voice, too. It made me wonder: Are there “best practices” for talking to kids about the climate?

We want our kids to understand the world and problems they’re facing, yet of course we don’t want to terrify them, either. To get some insight on how to have these conversations, and how to motivate our kids rather than frighten them, I reached out to journalist Anya Kamenetz, who writes the wonderful Substack

The Golden Hour: climate, children, mental health

.

Anya shared a bunch of useful strategies as well as tons of links to additional resources.

Anya Kamenetz

Whenever parents talk to their kids about scary or difficult subjects, it's important for them to first manage their own (parental) emotions. What tips do you have for getting ourselves to a point where we can talk about the changing climate in a calm way?

First of all, I hope you have your regular toolbox in place for managing your emotions, which every parent needs. Journaling, dancing in the kitchen, therapy, meditation, time in nature — whatever works for you. 

Specific to climate, you first need to talk about it and your feelings about it with other adults. It tends to be a topic we all gloss over or maybe make brief wry comments about because no one wants to be Debbie Downer. But making a safe space with friends and/or your partner to really talk it through and listen, without jumping to problem solving, is enormously important. My own climate journey really started one night seven years ago on a group beach vacation, when I was drinking wine with a bunch of the other moms and we slowly started to admit to each other just how freaked out we were and I realized I wasn't alone. 

I always strive to be honest with my kids — yet I know it's also crucial for them to feel safe. How can we talk with kids about climate change in a way that is truthful but not terrifying? 

I lean into two things. One is the Mr. Rogers’ classic "look for the helpers." When you tell them about something, say ocean microplastics, make sure you are talking about and pointing out the positive actions and steps people are taking. I follow Jessica Kleczka who posts "Positive climate news of the week" on Instagram. "The Garbage Queen" does the same on TikTok. 

The second, which may seem counterintuitive, is to talk about the uncertainty itself. We all feel hopeless about the future sometimes. But our hopelessness isn't a magic window into the future. The fact is that no one really knows what's going to happen, and that means something better than we expected can always happen. And we can always choose to do something to positively influence things toward that better outcome. 

If our kids are feeling scared or worried about the climate, how can we help them manage those feelings?

Absolutely validate them. Encourage them to express these feelings and name them and maybe even that you're feeling the same way. Check out our Climate Emotions Wheel--we are coming out with an emoji version soon for the youngest kids. 

 A designated time for worrying can be helpful. I talked to an 8 year old with severe climate anxiety and she would get the heebiejeebies before bed, and one of her parents would lie down with her and hug her till she felt better. 

Spending time in nature is good for anxiety in general, and I think especially climate anxiety, as we slow down and notice the resilience of life. 

Then you can also encourage them to take action in a way that feels manageable. Even young kids can leave voice mails for elected officials, or draw a picture on a letter for electeds. 

Some climate concepts can feel abstract. What suggestions do you have for making them tangible and real for kids, but again, without scaring them too much?

I've been doing focus groups with families and the sad truth is that climate change is right outside our doors, all over the country. Whether it's ticks still crawling around in November, or a lack of snow in January, or 100-degree days in September, it's important to acknowledge and connect the dots on the changes that we are seeing around us. 

And then you can also weave in pointing out the helpers, or even better, give them opportunities to BE a helper. I talked on my newsletter about how when we had the big rain in NYC at the end of September, my husband took my 7-year-old out in her rubber boots to help clear the storm drain on our block, to reduce the chances of a flash flood for us and our neighbors. 

I know you have kids. How have you engaged them in climate activism? How do you get them excited about fighting for change?

I'm mostly trying to lead by example and not make them feel like it's their fight or their responsibility. That said, it's been really rewarding to volunteer on my younger daughter's school PTA "greening committee" and be part of her opportunities to learn in our small city-school container garden, helping with its compost pile, and events like bike to school day. There's an awesome teacher who leads a "green team" within the school so they're reinforcing the lessons inside and outside.  I was also enormously proud when my older one chose to speak about climate change as part of their b'mitzvah speech and to donate part of their gifts to an environmental cause. 

What else is important to know about climate anxiety? And could you share some additional resources?

Caring about the climate tends to be gendered in our society, like so many other things. And parenting in relationship to the climate crisis, like other parenting tasks, is a form of both emotional and physical labor that falls disproportionately on mothers. We also see in research that severe climate anxiety is considerably higher for Hispanic people, and to a lesser extent Black people. 

As you start to think and talk more about this it will be good to find your people. 

What's been most helpful for me are the courses, books, and resources from the Work That Reconnects. Jo DelAmor facilitates and coaches parents, specifically, in this work. 

You can also check out Climate Cafés, Climate Awakening  and  The Good Grief Network for climate-related emotions conversations, and if you want to organize with other parents, check out Moms Clean Air Force and EcoMadres, Our Kids Climate  and Parents for Future. And Climate Families NYC in New York! 

I write a weekly newsletter about this and I co-created resources for parents with the Climate Mental Health Network, including guides for talking about climate emotions with elementary, middle, and high school students.