Doing More By Doing Less
Two simple exercises to figure out how to spend your precious time.
Last month, I ran a series of posts and threads on parental burnout recovery. One key take-home: It’s crucial to learn how to stop doing things you don’t need or want to do so you can make space for the things you do want to do.
But how do you determine what you really care about, and what you really want? Sometimes it’s not so obvious.
Earlier this month, I started reading Tiffany Dufu’s Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less, which was recommended by one of you, actually, in one of those December threads. (I will admit, I still haven’t finished the book, which I suppose is apt given the title.)
Dufu is a force in the women’s leadership movement, and her book chronicles her own journey to learn how to do less — by which I mean, less of the things that she didn’t need or want in her life, so that she could have the time and energy for things she did want. As Dufu explained:
I could spend my entire life checking off items on my to-do list, and in the end, it would make very little difference. I didn’t want my epitaph to read, “She got a lot of stuff done.” Instead, I had to figure out how I, and I alone, could make a difference—and this was as true for my homelife as it was for my professional one.
That paragraph resonated with me so much it hurt. I find myself constantly being pulled away from things I want to be doing to do things I feel I need to be doing. In her book, Dufu both challenges this notion of “need” — some things we consider “must-dos” aren’t actually must-dos — and also points out that for the things that truly are "needs,” we don’t necessarily need to be the ones doing them.
But here’s the thing: When I do actually find a rare bit of “me” time, I often don’t know what to do with it. I’ve been drowning so long and so deep in my own mental labor, I don’t even know who I am when I stumble upon a life preserver.
In order to figure out what we want to do with our precious time and energy, we have to figure out who we are and what we stand for.
In her book, Dufu shares two simple exercises that helped her get that crucial information.