Announcing My New Book: "Hello, Cruel World!"

Pre-order and get a free six month subscription!!!!!

There’s very little good news out there in the world right now. I’m reeling, you’re reeling, we’re all reeling.

But today I want to focus on our hopes for the future — a future that is being shaped by our parenting. We are raising the next generation of humans, who will ultimately determine what becomes of the world.

I’ve been talking with many of you for years now. In my threads, in the chat, in the comments section, and via in several book-related surveys I shared here in the newsletter, we’ve been connecting and discussing our concerns about the state of the world, where it’s heading, and what it all means for our children. You’ve posed so many smart questions about raising kids in this unique (and honestly pretty terrifying) moment, which I spent a lot of time reflecting on.

If you have been reading this newsletter for a while, or if you read my first book How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes, you know that anxiety is my biggest motivator. When I’m scared, I turn to the research for answers. I try to understand where we as parents actually have have control and impact — where we can focus our efforts to make the most difference.

I wrote How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes because I wanted to share the surprising science on what parents can do to raise compassionate and thoughtful humans. In 2023, based in large part on all of the excellent questions and concerns you shared with me here, I decided to write another parenting book to both understand (for myself!) and illuminate (for both me and you!) what we can do to raise kids who will not just survive this challenging world, but thrive in it — and, hopefully, make it a much better place. I conceived of it as a book that would address many our most pressing questions about modern parenting — using cutting-edge science as my compass, of course. I read thousands of studies, spoke with hundreds of researchers and therapists, and traveled to various locales to observe promising new interventions.

The result is Hello, Cruel World!, which comes out on May 27th in the U.S., U.K., Canada, and Australia. (And hopefully more countries and languages very soon!) The book is full of surprising insights, but what the science taught me more than anything else is that there are many reasons to feel hopeful. There are lots of things we can do to raise resilient, empathetic, mentally healthy, open-minded, curious, and information-literate human beings. And the strategies I uncovered aren’t particularly complicated or labor-intensive, either. They don’t require “intensive parenting” (and in fact, as I explain, the science often argues against that). My book is more about the big picture — the types of conversations we should ideally have with our kids, the frameworks we might want to consider using, and the values and priorities we may want to emphasize. And reassuringly, there is plenty of wiggle room.

Here’s a sneak peek:

You can pre-order Hello, Cruel World! from wherever you like to buy books — here are a bunch of U.S. bookstore pre-order links — but if you pre-order from my favorite local independent bookstore, Split Rock Books, I will be happy to sign the book and include a personalized dedication. They will ship the signed book anywhere in the United States. (And keep reading to learn how to get a free six month subscription to Now What, no matter where you pre-order from.)

Here are some of the questions (your questions!) I address in the book:

• How can I raise kids to love themselves and treat themselves well rather than beat themselves up — but who don’t grow up to be arrogant or lazy?

• Is there a way to interrupt the development of bias and raise kids who will be inclusive and open-minded?

• Is it possible to raise kids so that they learn to value joy, and rest, and to find balance in their lives, rather than be ruled by achievement / grind culture?

• Can curiosity and humility be fostered, and if so, how?

• How can we nurture healthy resilience in our kids? How do we tell the difference between hardships that foster growth, versus cause trauma?

• How does political polarization develop and what can we do to raise less polarized kids?

• How should we talk to kids about money, debt, and inequality?

• How scared should we be of social media, and what does the science tell us about what actually helps kids develop a healthy relationship with digital technology?

• What’s the latest science on raising compassionate kids? Are some forms of empathy “bad”?

• What kinds of conversations should I have with kids about drugs and alcohol — and should I let them drink or use marijuana at home?

• What are some of the insidious ways modern parents tend to over-protect kids, and how does it affect them?

• Is it possible to raise boys who challenge gender stereotypes and are willing to be vulnerable, open and honest with their friends?

• What can we do to help kids (especially girls) be authentic and true to themselves in their friendships, rather than sacrificing themselves and their needs?

• How can I get kids to help more around the house?

• What are some simple strategies parents can employ to ensure that kids ask critical questions and are resistant to misinformation and disinformation?

Yes, the answers to all of those — and a lot more, actually! — can be found in the book’s 260 pages. (There are also more than 300 detailed citations so you can learn more about the research I cite.) Right now, early copies of the book are with reviewers, and I’ve already gotten some exciting responses. Clinical social worker Carla Naumburg, the author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids, among other books, said: “If I could pick one book to put in the hands of every parent, this would be the one!” Tina Payne Bryson, the co-author of The Whole Brain Child among others, said it’s “an essential roadmap for parenting in the 21st century — an indispensable guide for any parent trying to raise a confident, compassionate, self-aware child in today’s tumultuous climate.” And Virginia Sole-Smith, the author of Fat Talk who also writes Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith, called Hello, Cruel World! “required reading” and said that the book grapples “with all of the big questions that keep us up at night—and her solutions and strategies are realistic and empowering for parents and kids alike.” I can’t even tell you how thrilled I am by these reviews. I’m over the moon.

And I am also very grateful to you, dear readers, since you did so much to shape what’s in the book. So as a thank you, I am offering all of you a special pre-order promotion. If you pre-order my book, you will get A FREE SIX MONTH PAID SUBSCRIPTION to Now What! If you are already a paid subscriber, your subscription will extend, free of charge, for six extra months. To take advantage of the promotion, simply forward a copy of your pre-order receipt (an email or screenshot is fine) to HelloCruelWorld@PRH.com.

Again, here are some pre-order links, and here’s the link to buy it from Split Rock.

Pre-orders are really, really important for authors. They create early buzz, build momentum, and help ensure that a book has a strong start. Pre-orders count toward the book’s first week of sales, often determines whether it ends up on bestseller lists. When a book gets a significant number of pre-orders, it also signals to retailers (like Amazon or Barnes & Noble) that the book is in demand. This can lead to more prominent placement on their websites, recommendations, and ads, which helps drive more sales and awareness. It's a kind of early momentum that fuels future marketing efforts. A strong pre-order count can also show publishers that there's real interest in the book, which will give them confidence to invest more in marketing and promotion. So by pre-ordering — rather than waiting for the on-sale date — you ensure that the book get into more parents’ hands. And, again, you’ll also get six months of paid newsletter content for free.

I am so grateful for all of your support. Please share this post with all your friends — whether or not they already subscribe! — so that they can take advantage of this special promotion, too. The more, the merrier! It really does take a village.